We have an understanding in our house. Each of my kids gets three gifts for Christmas, and a stocking. My theory is that if three gifts were good enough for our Lord and Savior, then it should be good enough for them. I have never, ever had a problem with this. From the time they were small, they have never asked for more....as a matter of fact, last year wee one said to me, "Mom, Santa brought me four gifts....we are only supposed to have three!" (I tried sneaking a dvd in her stocking, but I guess it was too much like a real gift). Now, tell me that little girl isn't going to turn out expecting everything to be handed to her. The mother said she was too young to realize that and she will stop when she gets older.....lol. Yeah, great plan there.
Parenting is such a complicated thing. We want to give our kids everything because we love them....yet if we do that, we will create children who don't want to work for anything. I don't want my girls to graduate from college and then say, "Okay world, here I am.....where's my paycheck?" Betsy and I had a tough time last week. I had to talk to her and set some things straight. One of the hardest things I had to say to her was that I have to be her parent first, and her friend second. I love goofing off with her, and I'll admit, I probably let her get away with things that I shouldn't. (the occasional cuss word, a randy joke, slacking on a chore or two) But, recently I've realized that I wasn't doing her any favors by treating her as an adult or friend. I need to be the parent for her, and for myself. Although she probably doesn't realize it, I am showing her more love this way, than by letting things slide. I suppose it's the proverbial "you'll understand when you are older" theory. However, she will....and she will be a better person for it. I just hope this woman wakes up before it's too late.
Okay, enough of that. What is on the docket for today....hmmmm, well, Betsy reminded me that her prescription is ready at Walgreens, I just put the last roll of tp in the bathroom which means I need to re-stock, I have pictures at Wal-Mart that haven't been picked up since buying my digital camera.....you see a pattern here? I guess I will be running errands today. It figures, I'm low on gas, have to spend money and payday is next Friday....sheesh. I also have to finish some sewing, two more loads of laundry and pick dd up at 4:30 from poetry club. Of course, in 8 1/2 days I'm going to be wishing for this kind of day....I should probably pick up some ear plugs while I'm out, since my ears will soon be bombarded with the "I'm bored, there's nothing to do, why don't we have anything good to eat, it's too hot out, I don't want to go to the beach again, how many days till school starts" song.
13 comments:
You are absolutely right about being a parent to your children, rather than a friend. There is always time for being a friend later when they are adults themselves. I have 4 weeks until the "bored" chant starts, I'm not sure which is worse that or the dreaded "H" word. Enjoy doing your errands in peace and quiet.
On this I totally agree with you. Children shouldn't grow up expecting the world to be handed to them. And that woman is setting her child up for just that. Kids know when things change and she isn't doing her child any favors. A parent can't always be the friend or buddy(although it would be nice) they also have to be the tough guy and teacher of life. It's always better to show a child why they can't have or do what they like then to let them expect everything and get nothing. Good to be back, Hugs Lanny
my name is Gail, i just turned 40 and am a mom of 8, yes i did say 8, the ages are22,20,9,8,7,6,5,and almost 4, Im expecting in November, I have never in my life heard of anyone spending so much money to see a kids eyes light up, I know as a parent we want tog give our kids everything,, I have learned form having 2 older daughters sometimes it may not be good to give the child everything,, Its harder this time around financially for me,, I am going thru a divorece and the dad pays no support,,I enjoy being a mom alot as you can guess but must say its exhausting, do u feel the same way????? My email adress is Mommysange@aol.com if you would like to corresponde, Have a great day....
I didn't see all of Dr. Phil, but did catch that lady and the truth is, it makes HER feel better to buy her kid things, not the kid. The kid doesn't know any better. It's a dangerous road she's traveling with that kid and there will be hell to pay somewhere down the line if she doens't cut that out. Have fun with all your errands...
As I type that I agree with you 100%, I also simultaneously receive an email that I won an ebay auction of the 35 Thomas the Tank engine trains. Do I feel guilty now? Of course! I feel like I do a decent job with my boys, but sometimes I walk a fine line. Have I ever spent 3,000 smackers on Christmas? No way, hosay... but I have splurged on an extra toy here and there. This is a problem we are working on. I love the three present idea at Christmas and have contemplated that for the last few years. We usually just spend about 100 bucks on them a piece because the grandparents are nuts if you know what I mean.
My mom brought up dr. phil to me yesterday because I guess there was this mom that had a child who was out of control and they laughed and took pictures instead of scolding. Then she reminded me of my son, Jonah, and how he is similar sometimes... like the time he emptied a bag of her fiberfill all over the living room, and I took a picture before I cleaned it up. He's just so stinkin' cute! But then I remember how he smeared his piece of my birthday cake all over the kitchen table and floor when we stepped out of the room last night. Not funny.
So maybe I have some parental soul searching to do.
~Erin
My brothers and I grew up getting TONS of presents at Christmas, and we all turned out to be hardworking, well-adjusted, contributing members of society. I suppose we were taught to be grateful for our parent's generosity and how hard they worked to provide for us. Perhaps it was the values instilled the remaining 364 days of the year that made the difference. - K. :)
Once years ago the check out lady at toys r us asked me how many kids I had. At the time I had two and told her. She was like wtf? You're so right! I've learned my lesson since then. A little anyway! You're a good mommy! LOL @ the ear plugs
I agree with that being a lot of $$$;but some people feel that if they have it....spend it.Maybe she didn't have a lot when she was growing up;we never really know the circumstances of people's lives.If it makes her happy,then that's what she needs.I don't think the kid would no anything different.It's obvious that's she's teaching her thing's also.Just as you said you give only 3 present's,I like the idea,but someone else may think it's not enough.(To each is own.)
I keep losing my enrty alerts. How clever with the 3 gift thing. I buy more than 3 gifts, but sometimes they are just little things all wrapped seperate. But Sara never seems to complain, all she wants is books, nothing fancy. Well at least I know where you are now. I hate sitting here tapping my finger wondering where you are and what you are doing.
Oh i know the whole x-mas gift thing, in our house after the gifts are wrapped each child is to pick one gift to give to adopta family program here in town, and we donate that gift from each kid to them. They never know whats in teh gift that they give away so its never a loss, it not only teaches them that its the giving that counts it also makes them appreciate what they do get....i agree with you 100%.
http://journals.aol.com/bernmilo/WAYNEATOPICTURES
I usually buy 3 toys I know my godson wants and a couple outfits. That way he gets what he wants and he gets stuff he needs. I don't think I spend maybe 100 bucks at Christmas.
Alot of people forget the true meaning of Christmas. We only buy 4 presents apiece for our kids during Christmas and with 3 kids that does add up. I had a friend in TX who's living room was literally filled up with gifts for her kids and after they got done opening they asked for more!
I do the 3 gift thing for my sons as well for the same reason. They get so much from grandparents and other relatives anyway. I saw the show and almost fell out of my chair. I would bet she is still doing it despite being on the show =)
Keep up the good work of being a "mean mom" =) I tell my son (in a tongue and cheek way) if I am mean than I must be doing a good job LOL.
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Bethany
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