The true story behind the wine....

Yes, it all sounded so cozy last night....me sitting at the computer, listening to jazz and sipping wine. Oh, but if you only knew what I had to go through to get to it....

I bought the wine, thinking it was a screw top....however, it was a cork. Being the ultra-classy lady I am, you would have thought I would have a corkscrew....however, my usual Arbor Mist wines don't call for them (nothing but the best for me! lol), so I needed to find another way to open my bottle, which was not the normal wide mouthed bottle, but had a 3 inch long neck that was half the diameter of a normal bottle of wine.

I decided to do a quick search online and typed in "how to open a wine bottle with no corkscrew". I got to a message board forum that offered a few suggestions. First there was the "try to break the vacuume seal between the cork and the bottle with something thin and it should slide out easily". Okay, that sounds simple enough. I'll just reach for my handy, dandy steak knife and shove it between the cork and the glass. It went in easily enough, however, it didn't do the job. As a matter of fact, it started chipping the mouth of the bottle, and wouldn't you know....I didn't put on my safety glasses. So, yes, I got pelted in the eye with a tiny glass projectile that bounced off my eyeball, into the pecan pie plate. After running to the bathroom to assess the damage (there was none, thankfully), I checked the pie. After three bites, I found nothing, and decided to continue trying to open the wine. 

The second suggestion was to "screw a drywall screw into the cork, then use pliers to pull it out. Be sure to grasp the bottle firmly between your thighs...." hmmmm, informative and titillating!  Out to the garage I went and got a screw and dh's drill....yes, I used a power tool....and in it went.I got the pliers, placed the bottle between my knees and pulled with all my might. However, the only thing I dislodged was the screw, and possibly my shoulder....

Suggestion number three was "use the corkscrew thingy on your swiss army knife, it works just fine". I was skeptical of this suggestion, but decided to give it a try. I went and asked dh if he had what I needed, and he did. I got the knife from his drawer, and took it to the kitchen. i wasn't sure it would work as 1.) by this time the cork was half way down the neck and 2.) I had pulled out several chunks of cork and didn't know if there was enough left to screw into. However, I was going to have that relaxing glass of wine if it killed me....so I screwed it in, gave a tug and....

It popped out!

You can only imagine my joy! So, I put the drill away, cleaned up the chunks of cork, grabbed a glass and headed for my computer. I did have a lovely evening, drinking wine by Christmas tree light and chatting with my friend, and doing some online shopping....guess what I bought?!