The "talk"....

Well, it finally happened. I had been hoping for at least one more year, but no, she finally asked. Wee one was sitting with me on the bed last night and said, "Mom, how does the baby actually get inside you?" I was caught off guard for a moment....however, quickly recovered and turned the question back to her. "How do you think they get inside?" She smiled and made a kissy-face....with tongue. Oh man....

I asked her what she was doing and she said, "It's called a French Kiss mom," like I should have known. I said, "Where did you hear about that?" and she got all sheepish. I asked if she and her friends talked about it at school and she giggled and said yes. Then she gets serious and says, "Is that how the French really kiss?" Stifling a giggle myself, I told her no, well, maybe they do, but so do Americans and everyone else. It's just called a French kiss. I thought since we had veered from the original subject I had dodged a bullet. I should have known with my sharp witted little wee one, that was not the case. 

Again I asked her how she thought they got inside and this was her explanation. "Well, when you French kiss, the bacteria gets into your mouth and down inside, and it goes to the egg. You know, like on the beginning of that movie where all the squiggly things are swimming?" I had to think a minute, and then realized she was talking about the beginning of "Look Who's Talking," where they show the sperm (Bruce Willis' voice) talking and racing toward the egg. This time I did laugh, and explained about a woman's ovaries, uterus, egg, sperm, etc. Of course I didn't mention how the sperm actually got there, I figured she didn't need to know that. However....she asked me point blank, "So, when you kiss a boy it gets in there?"

At this point I decided not to lie and to tell her the truth....in a kid friendly way, of course. Dr. Phil says if they are legitimately asking, then you need to answerhonestly. I began by saying that two people who love each other and are MARRIED want to show their love by being together. They kiss and hug, like mommy and daddy do, and yadda, yadda, yadda.... Of course, once I got to the physical aspect of it, I had to tell her that it was not through kissing but, "Ummm, well, uh, ::clears throat::, lower." She starts laughing and says, "Oh right mom, like the wiener," and then she laughs hysterically. I look at her and say, "Yes, honey." I would have loved to have taken a picture of her face at that moment. Her eyes got huge and she just looked at me. "WHAT?" I managed to eek out the rest of the story, being sure to mention that sex is a gift from God, that it was meant to show love between a husband and wife. I said this was also the way women become pregnant. The parents love would create a child that would be loved with all their hearts. She though a moment about that, then turned to me and said, "Are you sure God wants us to do that?!" LOL. I have to admit, I laughed at that one.  Of course, after a few minutes, the horrible truth hit her and she said to me, "Oh my gosh. That means, you and dad?!"

I played that part down....wayyyyy down, and she was okay. You know, you have kids, they become toddlers, elementary age, then *bam*, they are learning more than you ever thought they would. I don't remember ever having "the talk" with my mom. I think I just learned it from friends. However, I do remember in 7th grade, a friend of mine who's mother had died, asked me the same thing wee one did. She thought you got pregnant from kissing. I laughed at the time, and was immediately sorry because I could see that she was hurt and embarrassed. I didn't want that to happen to wee one. It was obviously the time to tell her, and I think our talk went really well.

Apparently she had been thinking about it after we had talked because this morning as I was brading her hair, she asked me, "How long does it take to get pregnant." I wasn't sure how to answer. I said that it could happen right away or it could take months. She said, "NO. I mean when you have sex, how long does it last?" Oh man....how do I explain this one? Before I could answer she said, "It probably takes an hour or so, huh?" Thank goodness it was time to leave for school....I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth about that one! LOL....