Thank you....

You will never convince me that online friends are not the same as "real life" ones. My heart and mailbox is overflowing with the love that I feel from everyone that has written and commented and sent hugs and love via the internet. I have heard from complete strangers, as well as friends I've known for a long time. I can not begin to tell you how much each and every comment/mail/thought and prayer has meant to me today. Losing a pet is never easy, and when that pet is more like a human than some humans we interact with every day, it makes it even harder. But the overflowing of love that I have been blessed with here in j-land has eased the pain, and taken the edge off of my sadness. And for that, I am eternally grateful to everyone. I only hope that someday I will be able to return the love and comfort that has been shown to me today.  ((((My Friends))))

Wednesday night when we took Percy out to do his business, he was unable to stand at all. It was like someone had pulled the rug out from underneath him. He lost the strength in his front legs as well, and was beginning to cry even when laying down. I spent most of the night on the floor with him, trying to soothe him. I would bring him water and he would try to drink, but he was so weak that he would end up resting his chin on the bowl. By the time John and I took him out yesterday morning, he was completely out of it. I had decided at that moment that I was not going to prolong his suffering. It was the very least I could do for him.

I can't tell you how my heart raced as I dialed the phone to the vet. I ended up crying while talking to the receptionist. She was so sweet....she set everything up, and told me when to bring him in. I called John and he agreed to meet me there. I have to tell you, it was the longest morning of my life, lying there next to Percy, knowing what was going to happen. It was a mixture of sadness and relief....he needed to go, but I would miss him so much. I had told the girls to be sure to tell him goodbye before school, "in case". They have taken this so well. Better than their parents! At least on the outside....

All morning I sat next to Percy, getting up now and again to do a few things. He would realize I was gone and try to bark, getting himself all worked up. It was so sweet how when I would come back in and sit with him, his breathing would go back to normal and he would be comforted. When the time came to take him, JB and I put him in the car and I cried all the way there....so much for being the pillar of strength I wanted to be! We were taken into a private room, and spent some time with Percy. He laid there on the table, dozing off a few times. When the vet came in I was crying, holding Percy's little face and telling him I loved him. John was behind me, crying as well. The vet was so sweet....she said that we shouldn't be sad, we had done everything possible for him. She also said that she felt he had a soft tissue tumor because he had gotten so bad so fast....

She explained what she was going to do, and that it would be fast. As she readied him, John said goodbye and allowed me to be the one to hug and caress him as he took his final breath. The vet would whisper what she was doing as she did it, and I just kept talking to Percy, hoping that his last thoughts would be that he was loved more than he could ever imagine. It was so quick and so peaceful....one small breath and he was gone. I have to tell you I cried and cried....but I knew he was better off. I could just imagine my Dad kneeling down, arms open as Percy ran to him. I know he is in good hands right now. I can just see my dad, eating a piece of cake, and laughing as Percy nudges his arm, begging for a bite....

The vet was unbelieveably caring and compassionate. Both of the doctors came in and hugged us both, expressing their sympathy. It takes such a special person to be able to deal with that every day. We were blessed with wonderful care for Percy for the entire time we have lived here.

When we got home, I did the only thing I knew to do....I got my windex, fabreeze and mini vac and cleaned out the car! LOL....John worked right along side of me, sucking up the dog hair. I couldn't bear to see it....I then picked Betsy up from the bus stop. She was obviously upset when she got off the bus, not saying anything until we got home.  When we went inside she asked when we did it and I told her. She has been quiet all evening....I'm thankful she had to work to get her mind off of it. I went into her room and sat with her a while. She loved Percy so much. He was a gift to her from her dad before wee one was born. She named him. I knew she mourned in her own way today.

Wee one did very well. She didn't cry at all. Before school she had eaten her cereal next to Percy, and when I looked in on her, she was on the floor, rubbing his face and talking to him. She knew what was coming. She gave him kisses before she left for school. When I picked her up she asked about him and I told her. She was quiet most of the way home. I laid down as soon as we got home and she came over to me and rubbed my head. She said, "You know mom, he's in a better place now. And he's with Papa so you should n't be sad."  What a kid.

When I woke up from my nap, I heard the mower and John was outside doing the lawn. I went out to talk to him and he was all red eyed. He said to me, "I can't believe I'm crying because I ran over a pile of poop and it reminded me of him!" I have to say, I was laughing and crying at the same time when he said this....he has been so emotional. Percy was his buddy for so many years. He said it will be hard to go to work in the morning, without his usual good bye from Percy. And I don't know what I'm going to do all day without my partner. He kept me company for 12 years as I vacuumed, dusted, did laundry....

We will all miss him so much. I'm not angry that he had to go....I'm thankful and blessed to have had 12 years with him. He enriched our lives in ways that are unexplainable. How could I not be thankful for that? My sadness is that I won't be greeted every morning with his sleepy face, or annoyed by his barking that I would love to hear just one more time. God blessed us with Percy....and for that I will be forever grateful.