It's almost over....

I haven't said anything about this....but wee one has been having some trouble with her friends at school. There are four of them who hang together....all on the safety patrol....and the "ring leader" has decided that she and the other two should be mean to her, and taunt her mercilessly. For the past month or so, they have ignored her, laughed at her, called her names and made fun of her for no reason. She has been friends with "t" since second grade, and I was rather surprised to hear she was part of the group....until wee one told me that she is scared of the ring leader because she had been the subject of her abuse before. The other girl "j" has been her best friend all year....they did the invention convention together. The third is a fairly new friend and the ring leader of the whole thing. A girl who is used to getting everything she wants and running the show.

Now, each of these girls has been in my home, and I've treated them like little princesses. I make sure that when "j" comes to spend the night, we have her favorite cheddar pretzels because she loves them....I even get her her very own bag so she can take the leftovers home! When "t" comes over, I know they will be outside catching lizards and frogs, and I never complain when they bring them inside and give them rides in wee one's Barbie plane. The ring leader has been over twice....relatively new to the scene, but I try to make sure she is comfortable and has whatever she needs. I say this because wee one is always so appreciative and loves it when her friends say they like to come over here.

It started with little things....not talking to her, ignoring her....and quickly escalated to not inviting her to sleep over, and making fun of her. When they had the end of the year carnival, they were all to meet at the water fountain and walk around together, enjoying being the 5th graders for the evening....and they ditched her. She called me an hour later for a ride. I asked her why and she said she had been wandering around by herself, and she was ready to come home. I hurried over and she told me the story....that she walked around with another little girl until she had to go, then just walked by herself, watching everyone else enjoy the rides and games. I was so angry....she had been looking so forward to this, and it was ruined....although being the kind of kid wee one is, she didn't really complain. Just looked a bit sad.

Fast forward to now....and the e-mails. She had been getting a few from the ring leader, nothing horrible....but mean nonetheless. Saying she was invited to a party and would see her there but "Oh wait, you weren't invited! I guess I'll have a better time then!" Wee one's response? "Have a great time! *smiley face*" I tell ya, that kid knows how to work it! LOL. I've been so proud of her....she hasn't responded in anger....but with a smile or a remark that fits the situation so perfectly. "j" has been trying to get a response out of her....she walked up to her and crossed her arms in front of her and said, "Do you know why I'm mad at you? Do you?" Wee one wouldn't answer, just kept doing her thing, and "j" walked closer. "Do you?" Wee one turned to her, crossed her arms and said, "Wow! Look at me, I can do that too!" Then walked away. She told me "Mom, you should have seen "j's" face! It was so red!" LOL....that's my girl!

So on Mother's day....around 7....she says, "Mom, come look at this e-mail." My heart sank as I read it. It was a collaborative effort from the three....a paragraph from each, describing how they don't like her. The ring leader calling her a "witch with a capital "B" to the most extreme," "j" calling her a "bottom feeder with no friends", and "t" didn't say anything, but it was from her account. I had had it....I got the phone and started calling. I called "t's" parents first and got her mother. She was so nice, and immediately apologized. I knew she would be....apparently the girls had been at her house that weekend. She said she would deal with the problem immediately. Half an hour later "t" called, crying and apologizing. She is also grounded, lost all of her computer privileges, etc.

Next was "j". I called her mom and again, she was nice....but told me that "I talked to J earlier when the girls were squabbling, and she assured me she had NOTHING to do with it...." Hmmmm, telling my daughter that if she didn't have her safety patrol belt on she'd rip her little head off is having nothing to do with it? Again, she said she would talk to her, and thanked me for calling. No apology from her.

I was really nervous to call the ring leaders parents. Typical rich, "my kid does nothing wrong" parents. Matching BMW's, homes both here and abroad....I call and no answer. Leave a message. She calls back. FIRST thing out of her mouth, "Well, she told me wee one sent her an e-mail saying she was a witch with a capital b...." I THINK NOT! She said she was looking for the e-mail her daughter sent....I told her it was sent from someone else's account....she says, "Oh, I know....she can get on her account." WHAT? You are proud of the fact your kid can hack other people's accounts? If I ever found out my child was doing that without permission....that would be the end of their computer access! So she goes on to tell me at this point it's "tit for tat" since the stories are different, and basically to go to hell.

After all the calls, wee one climbs up onto my bed and says to me, "Mom, I'm sorry." I asked her what for....and she said, "That you have to deal with this on Mother's Day." Now tell me that is a child that has brought any of this on herself! I hugged her and told her that is part of being a Mom....I will fight for her no matter what day it is. I can't tell you how proud I was at that moment. She has taken all of this in stride....telling me that she has other friends, she will be fine. But I know inside it's tearing her apart. She has cried about it....saying she feels alone....then catches herself and goes on, being strong. Well, as strong as an 11 year old can be. It amazes me how mean these kids can be. And I told her, "Remember this feeling if you ever feel the urge to make fun of someone." She said, "Mom, I would never want anyone to feel this way." And I know she means that.

Epilogue....things are still stressful for her. The two other girls did not apologize to her face, although the ring leader said she put a note in her locker. Wee one didn't see it yesterday and will be looking for it today. She is still the outcast....I see that when I pick her up and the other three sit apart from her. But she has moved on, talking to another friend whom she wants to have over this weekend. I am so glad school is almost over. "t" will be attending a Catholic school next year....the ring leader is going to the $19,000 a year private school....and "j" is in advanced classes at the school wee one is going to, so they will be separated. I am still in shock that girls so young, could be so mean! Shouldn't they be talking about moving on to middle school, music....even boys????

All I can do at this point is tell wee one every day how much I love her, and that things will be different next year. She will meet new people and have new experiences. I am so thankful she is the strong girl she is. She looks at life in such a positive way. Yes, she's sad, but she sees the glass as half full....she has other friends, and moves on. She said to me, "You know mom, I guess if they are acting this way, they really weren't my friends." What a kid.