When life gives you lemons....you better hope you don't have a paper cut!

Okay, I tried this last night, and it didn't work....so let's do it again....

Two important j-land happenings....HAPPY BIRTHDAY (a day late) MONICA! Yes, our resident traveler, photographer is another year older, yet just as sweet and kind as ever. I hope your year is filled with happiness and fun, safe trips and beautiful scenery!

And a big CONGRATULATIONS goes out to Erin for passing her nursing boards....she is now an official RN. She is a Christian mom and wife who has worked so hard for a long time to reach her goals....what an inspiration! I wish nothing but the best for you in your future as a nurse....your patients will benefit from your care!

Things here are fine yet not fine. I really try to focus on the fun and funny parts of being a sahm, and when I write things that are neither, I feel bad. Yet, part of being a sahm is dealing with life as it comes, and I need a release as much as the next gal....

My grandmother is thankfully, doing well. We have a day person in place to watch her from 9-5. This woman has been a home caregiver for years, and is one tough cookie. Her name is Flossie, and she is a riot. She has quite a schedule set up for Nana, much to her dismay I think! LOL....she is set in her ways, but Flo is going to shake things up! She told my uncle that she had been praying for a job opportunity (as her previous 90+ patient had passed on), and then we called. She said it was "God's will". Can't argue with that! My sister will be on the "night shift", so Nana will feel more comfortable during the evenings. She still doesn't think she needs help....

However, my father is a different story. He has had a setback and scared everyone last night. Apparently he had been sitting in a chair trying to drink water, when my sister noticed he kept bringing the cup to his chin, and tipping it so the water spilled. He couldn't get it to his mouth. Then she said he was fiddling with his mouth and began to drool. He said he couldn't stop it. Now, with this disease, this is part of the "phases", and unfortunately a latter stage. He told my mother that "something" was happening, his words for slipping into the next stage. He can feel it, and always tells her when it happens. She decided it was time to go home, and tried to lead him to the door with his walker, however his legs wouldn't move. My sister said she had him put his hands on her shoulders and would tell him which foot to move, and eventually ended up dragging him most of the way. By the time they got to the car, she had to physically lift him in.

This disease is so crazy. You honestly don't know from day to day what it will bring. I have noticed over the past week that my father's speech is so slurred you can't understand him. He used to be pretty good in the mornings, however, those days are futher and farther between....and after last night, I think they are over. His muscles are getting so weak....he is suffering from sever exhaustion....

I talked to my mom on the phone last night. She said that she is more afraid of him living than dying. Not that in any way she doesn't want him here....it's just that she doesn't want him to live in pain or fear. His quality of life is quickly slipping to none. His only pleasure now is eating, and with his weak throat muscles, that is quickly becoming a losing battle. Mom admitted to me last night that that was the first time she was actually scared, she even cried while talking to me....and that REALLY makes me nervous. My mother is the strongest woman I know, and if she is upset....that isn't good.

She did call me this morning, and put dad on the phone. He told me that he was feeling better....but the smile in his voice was gone today. I'm hoping it's because he is still so tired, and that after sleeping most of the day, he will be more like himself. I'm hoping and praying....I know that God knows what he's doing. I don't question that. I just pray that we have the strenght to keep dad comfortable and happy with whatever time we have left.

Thanks for listening.