Okay, here's how it went down. Everyone arrived, and I thought were having a good time, although I noticed that Betsy's boyfriend hadn't said much of anything since he walked in, and he brought a friend who was not invited (although Betsy knew him and it was fine). They go to the porch and everyone is chatting and visiting....yet the two guys are sitting to the side, talking amongst themselves. I call Betsy in when the pizzas arrive, and she is not happy. She tells me he is ignoring her, and she doesn't know what to do. Well, he had suggested they "break" over the summer, not date anyone, just hang out with their respective friends.....which although she didn't want to do, she agreed. Anyway, she invites everyone in for pizza....and they won't eat.
The evening goes on, and I see her sitting between her girlfriends and the guys....looking rather sad, so again I call her in. I can tell she wants to cry, but she won't give him the satisfaction. She said she didn't even get to open his gift, because he wasn't paying attention to her. I felt so bad for Betsy....she isn't one to show a lot of emotion, but I knew she was hurting. I tell her I'll get the cake and maybe she could ask him to go to her room, so she can open the gift in private. Well, her friend came in before she had the chance, so she told everyone if they wanted cake to come in the kitchen.
By this time, it's dark out, and the only two who didn't come in for cake were bf and friend. It was ice cream cake, so they ate it in the kitchen (which the florida room is attached to). About 10 minutes later, I tell Betsy to ask them if they want cake before I put it away....and they are gone. They went out the back and left! I tell Bets to walk down the street and ask them to come back, since I am responsible for them while they are here....
She comes back and says she can't find them. She calls his cell phone a million times, and there is no answer....now it's coming up on 10 in the evening, and I start to worry. I call his house, to ask his mom to call his cell because he would probably answer her....and it's busy. Now, he lives like 5 miles away so I tell John I'm going to get in the car and go look for him....maybe he started to walk home. *Argument ensues. "That little ****, how dare he leave the house! You stay here, you are not going to go out looking for him! Call his **** parents." Blah, blah, blah....by this time I'm crying because I don't know what to do. I end up driving around the "big block", with no luck. So, I follow the route to his house, the whole time calling and getting a busy signal. At 10:30 I get to his house and walk up to the door. As I pass his mom's car, I put my hand on it and it's hot....as was my face by that point.
She opens the door and I say, "Is **** here?" Her eyes are huge and she says, "Yes....he called me and said he wanted to come home, so I picked him up." I just stand there staring at her thinking W-T-F???? A million things run through my mind....and what do I do? I burst out crying! Oh, the humanity....my stress level was so high at that point, I couldn't help it! She comes out and hugs me....like I wanted that! I told her, "I've been driving around for a half hour looking for him....I had no idea he had left....I was trying to call you...." she says, "I told him he should have called to let Betsy know he left." Again I say W-T-F???? Am I wrong here or shouldn't she have called ME? Better yet, shouldn't she have come to my home and told me he was leaving....she picked him up DOWN THE STREET!!!! I would NEVER leave a parent hanging like that!
And to top it off....she said that he told her Betsy was rude to him and that she asked him, "If she wasn't going to pay attention to you, why did she invite you?" OMG....I just turned around and walked to the car....got in without saying a word and left. She was talking as I walked away, but I was so upset/galled/amazed that I couldn't respond. I got to the stopsign and balled like a freaking baby. I don't know why I reacted like that....I should have made her bring him out so I could tell him he shouldn't have done that....
In any case, Betsy did enjoy herself with her other friends none-the-less. I'll report back later on what she got, and post some pics. As for now, I'm going to try to go back to bed. Here's a fun footnote....when I got home, I decided to take a bath to relax. Afterward, I used my little pedicure razor thing on my feet....only to take off about 1/2 of skin on my left foot, which of course led to profuse bleeding for an hour or so, and now I can't walk. *Sigh.
19 comments:
I am SO sorry thigns didn't turn out as planned. I think all the stress of the preparation and the lead up tp the party is enough to have made you cry when things went wrong. That mother was so stupid not to tell you that she had taken her son, no wonder her son didn't have the manners to say he was leaving if his mum acts like that. I hope you feel better soon and your toe heals quickly........Jules xx
oh wow I'm sorry things turned out like that! If that mother is any indication Betsy is better off without that guy, rude! I can't believe she didn't call you and let you know what was going on. I'm glad that Betsy had fun with her other friends tho.
Sorry about your foot too.....here's to a nice quiet Sunday for you :)
BOY what a night!!
Her ex doesn't sound like much of a guy....neither does his mom..lol..I cry when I get REALLY upset too...
Jackie
Oh...I'm so sorry things turned out like that. I think it is even more painful when people are mean to our children than when they are mean to us! And at a sixteenth birthday party! As a mum you want your kids to only have happy memories of milestone events.
It's weird how other parents often seem to be on another planet about these things as well. Probably the other mum heard a completely different version of the party as the BF covered his back! I know it's pointless calling him a rat....he's just a kid & it could all be on again next week, but hopefully poor Betsy is taking this as a learning experience about how she will/will not tolerate being treated by future young men who want the honour of her company!
It's so hard being a mum isn't it? You can identify all too well with the pain & humiliation of young love, + the sight of your babies upset is like a knife in your guts & a knife in your chest. I know thats a bit dramatic, but thats how I think it is!!
Look after yourself! Sorry your attempt at pampering ended up with you slicing your foot open!! What we do to look good??! Try something that doesn't involve anything sharp until your nerves have settled down a bit!
I'm sure Betsy doesn't want the sympathy of strangers but I can't help feeling it anyway. It sounds like she has good friends & a good family to see her through.
:o(
If you haven't rented 16 Candles (the movie) now is the time. Does anyone have a 16th birthday that goes well? Shoot, I don't know anyone that did. I don't think your psyche can handle non-adversity. I think it is important to get through the trama or something.
Best wishes to your daughter, and you as well.
Gordy
The Cycling Comic
Oh poor Betsy! and poor you! It is so danged hard being a teenager and the mom of one.
I would have cried also...it's much harder to see our kids being hurt than ourselves.
OMG--Sherry! I'm so sorry that happened!! I was hoping for a happy ending to the "sweet sixteen" bash. That boyfriend (and his mom) are unbelievable! Let me know how you're doing. Love, Kim :o)
What a little jackass,and the mother too.Poor Betsy,she deserves better than that kid.And ouch on the foot thing.That is a freaking dangerous tool you have there woman.I think I need one of those.KIM
I was mad not MAN! And I'm so sorry you hurt your poor foot
On my daughters 14th birthday I had a huge party for her and the exact same thing happened with her boyfriend. She broke it off with him and eventually forgave him and took him back. I was sooooo MAN! Poor betsy...that is just bullshit. What a little idiot that boy is and so was his mother. i'm sorry they spoiled what should have been a HAPPY WONDERFUL DAY for you both. Anyone that tries to destroy someones birthday isn't worth the time of day. I hope she never takes him back. She deserves so much better. She is a beautiful young lady...full of personality...and he f'n sucks!
That's just not right. Shame on him and his mother. You don't go out of your way to destroy a birthday party. Better not to show up then to be a butt. This little boy has all the ear marks of a selfish people user. Hope the erst of her night was way better after he was gone. Hugs Lanny
Sorry the party sucked. She deserves much better than that. Hopefully she can get over the little jerk and find someone who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated.
Sorry bout the foot...owie!
Kyla
OMG!!! Poor Betsy!! I am so sorry it worked out like that for her. What, did he come to the party just to make her miserable? Or was he acting like the tough guy in front of his friend? Teenage boys make no sence, and that Mother...what a shame! That sure isn't the way to remember your 16th birthday...but I think we all have memories of a boy treating us badly...but it's a shame it had to happen on at her birthday party.
You are a wonderful Mom for doing everything you did for Betsy, and for the boy with no respect!!!
OMG! Ok, I'm going to just try to think why the bf was acting this way (although I in NO way approve of the way he left the party without telling you or the way the mother didn't inform you she was picking him up---what is wrong with these people???) I'm guessing the bf was acting like a wiseass because he was with his "friend." Sometimes guys around other guys act weird and they try to make it look like they don't care about you because they think that's COOL. Still, since it was Betsy's birthday, for crying out loud, perhaps he could have cooled the act a bit and acted more like a human being!!! At this point, I'd say Betsy is better off without him and that she deserves better than him. And the mother...well, I'm just appalled by the whole thing so I probably would have screamed at her to knock some sense into her son. I'm sorry the evening was ruined. You are lucky to have a wonderful, beautiful daughter and she is lucky to have you.
Sherry, That is devastating! On her birthday?! What a creep! If I was that mother I would be mortified!
OH I M sooooooo sorry {{{{{{BETSY}}}}}}}} BOYS Man boys. They are such jerks. My Tracys bf had her crying at her graduatoin!!!!!!!! WHy do they pick big events special ones to pull this crap. I am sorry fo ryou and you need a hug too {{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}} there big hug for you. I may have gone off on her the mother myself. Hope she reads this journal. One day it will come back t o haunt her. Lori
I wish you were my mom! You stepped in the gap for your baby... God is smiling down on you.
Love,
Erin
Oh my, sounds like a mom's worse nightmare! What an arrogant ass that kid was/is!! And, what's up with the mom not calling you? Maybe she didn't know he didn't tell you he was leaving or something? That would be the ONLY excuse that I would accept. Well, sorry Betsy, but this is only the first of many of life's little heartbreaks. Unfortunately, they don't get any easier! We just have to learn what we can from each one. And, a BIG OUCH about your toes!!!!
Hugs and love, Lisa
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