I have a question for all you mom's of teenagers out there. A friend of my daughter's came up to her today and asked her if she had seen the bathroom in the upstairs hall at school. Betsy said no, and the girl said someone had written her name all over it along with some not so nice words regarding her looks, and alleged promiscuity. Bets seems not to be too affected by it....she says she thinks she knows who did it and why. You see, she has a boyfriend who is considered "hot" by many girls in the school. My dd is not the "girlie" type, not a prep or a cheerleader. She is beautiful, and speaks her mind. She doesn't follow the crowd, and is herself. Her attitude is "take me for who I am....I'm not changing for anyone". She is an honor roll student in the advanced classes, yet hangs out with people she likes, be they advanced or not. Her oppinion is that it is one certain girl who is very jealous that she is dating this boy. I would not be surprised if this were the reason for the graffiti. However, I don't like the fact that this stuff is plastered all over the bathroom wall. My question is this; should I call the school and ask that something be done about it? If it were a sentence in a stall, that would be one thing....we all were guilty of that as teens. But her friend said it is all over the walls....lots of mean and nasty things. Bets is going to check it out tomorrow, and tell me if it's still there, and just how much of it there is. She doesn't seem to be worried about it, but being the mom that I am....I am worried.
I'd be interested to hear what everyone has to say about this. Thanks....
15 comments:
i may not be a mom with teens,but,I would absolutely call the school and see what is being done about it.This girl needs to be stopped in her tracks.I was a victim of bullying in high school and let me tell you,it is no fun at all.Thank goodness your dd is a strong young woman.It doesn't matter if it bothers her or not,the school has to do something about it so it doesn;t go any further.Keep us updated.This makes me sick to hear about this kind of stuff.(((Betsy))).KIM
At my school things like that are taken care of after school hours daily if/when necessary. I'd suggest your daughter check it out in the morning and report it if it's still there. Then if it's not taken care of go raise some you know what!!
Hi....even if your daughter says that she doesnt want you to go to her school, i would be there tomorrow and say you need to speak to her counselor and/or the principal. I would not tolerate this for a second. Teen girls will say oh mom, you are so embarressing and please dont interfere but deep inside they need you and want you to take control of a situation that is out of their hands. My daughter is 15, top 10 percent of her freshman class and there have been many instances where she said oh dont interfere and i quietly went ahead and dealt with the bullies or their parents or the school and later on she would say "thanks mom for being there for me". They just dont want you to know they need you. Its soooo hard to figure them out sometimes!! lol Good luck!
My dd will be a teen in 2 months....I would call the school and alert them of what is going on, who knows who the next "victim" could be and this should stop immediately.
I would call the school IMMEDIATELY (whether Betsy wants you to or not, do it behind her back) and have them remove it. There is no reason whatsoever why some scumbag jealous girl should get away with crap like that, and why YOUR daughter should be humiliated (whether she is or not). Sherry, I'd take it off myself if they don't do it. Seriously. These high school girls can be really mean and if you let them get away with THIS, then they think it's ok and they try something else. My older daughter had a problem with a couple of girls and I told her that if she didn't tell them to cut the crap, I'd go over to their house myself and settle it. Well, my daughter got some of her guy friends to go with her and she confronted the girls and told them they needed to cut out the pranks or else she'd report them to the police etc. As fast as the crap started, it stopped...
Oh, and PS, Daniel is HOT and I can see why they are jealous!!!
I second Karen. Saying nothing is enabling these girls to be hateful, and this does not teach them there are consequences for their actions. Your daughter is very strong and sound, but regardless of her pride, needs to know that it's OK for her parents to back her up once in a while. Maybe you could come up with a solution together that you would both agree on, and that would give some ownership of solving the problem without being to passive. ~Erin
K, first off, I haven't read anyone else's comments so I can give you my fair opinion. I would DEFINATELY call the school after your daughter goes and takes a look at it tomorrow to see how bad it is. If it is just a sentence in a stall, then don't call. But, if it is as bad as you are thinking, then hell ya' I'd call! The school should be monitoring it anyway shouldn't they? What do they pay the maintenance guys for?! That should not be allowed EVER and should be fixed within a day. Now, I will go and see what everyone else wrote. Tell your daughter to keep her head up, even though she doesn't sound like she needs any advice. That's one smart cookie you are raising!
Hugs and love, Lisa
CALL THE SCHOOL! And the girls are jealous...they want to be everything GREAT that betsy is. It's not just the hot boy..she is radiantly beautiful...and whoever did it can't stand that fact. So call the school..maybe they can match up that handwriting..that happened in my daughters school with someone and thats how they found out who did it. Tell Betsy to hold her head up high and smile the biggest smile as she walks through the halls....that's the best retaliation.
I have a 14 year old that sounds so much like your daugher. She is not really popular because she refuses to change to be what is considered "cool" to other kids. I would want to call the school also. But I think you should leave it up to her. As mothers we want to protect them forever...but we have to let them make some decisions on their own. She sounds truly cabable of handling this on her own. If things get worse with this other girl, then I would step in. I know it's not easy, trust me, so many times I have been hurt so badly by what someone has said to my daughter....but she always deals with them really well. And the more decisions we let them make on their own...the better prepared they are to be the adults we want them to become.
I'd call the school and tell them about the writings on the bathroom walls. They usually have paint as they have to paint the stalls often with what the teen write. Your daughter sounds like a wonderful young lady and it's such girls like Betsy or my Kim who have others who get jealous because they don't conform and end up having lots of friends in the school.
Smilin Mon
Sherry, I don't have a teenage daughter (yet), but I would call the school and request that the slander be removed. Usually the custodial staff will do this anyway, but if Betsy knows who did it, you may be able to have some sort of disciplinary action taken against her. However, if this does not bother Betsy or if she doesn't want to "provoke" the girl, you don't have to mention any "names" when reporting the incident. I am so proud of your daughter in that she loves herself and has the confidence to be herself! I didn't have that as a teenager--I was always trying to fit in "with the crowd", and trouble usually followed. Kids can be cruel, and I'm sorry you're having to go thru this! Love, Kim
I would go and scrub it off myself. And then slap anyone who looked guilty of writing it in the first place.
I'm a teenager myself, and I think you should ask your daughter what she would like you to do about it. If she wants you to call, call, if she doesn't want you to, don't. You shouldn't be too worried...I'm sure she'll be alright...teenage girls are just mean sometimes. Your daughter sounds like a great girl and it's a shame that this happened to her...but it will be ok. Mothers seem to always worry about their kids...its natural. But i just think you should talk to her before doing anything.
maybe you should ask her about it and check on a few of her friends and if i were her i would've jumped somebody!!!!11111
Post a Comment