WTH AOL????

What is going on with AOL???? I click on to my happy place (i.e. this journal), and there is no button to add an entry....yet there is a huge BANNER AD on my PAID AOL ACCOUNT JOURNAL. Hello???? I am not using a freebie AIM account, I do not need advertising on my journal thank you very much. This is getting rather frustrating. I am doing this entry via a different browser, thanks to suggestions on the Journals message board. Hopefully this is a one time glitch and things will be up and running again soon.

Anyhoo....

Yesterday I did a bad, bad thing. I didn't mean to do it, but it was one of those things that you just can't help. I took wee one to school in the morning, and dropped her off at the usual time. I left the parking lot and merged into the usual bumper to bumper traffic that is Jacksonville Florida. I was cruising along at a minimal speed with the usual fellow driver up my butt....I had just looked in my rear view mirror to check on how close she was behind me, when I caught a bit of furry movement out of the corner of my eye. I looked over and there on the sidewalk was a squirrel, trying to decide if he should cross the street or not.

Furiously, I began sending subliminal messages to him. "No, don't, stay right where you are! I can't stop or I'll be rear ended! Please, for the love of Pete stay where you are!" He must have been receiving them because he would start....stop....step off the curb....turn....go....no....stop....ummmm....turn.....and then things went into slow motion....

::begin tragic music here::

Slowly, my head turned toward the little guy, just as he began his tragic run across the street. As our eyes met, a lifetime of words passed between us, although neither of us could voice them. I saw the anguish in his eyes as he ran, knowing that he would not make it. And in mine, I hope that he read the sorrow I was feeling as I continued on, not being able to break. As we moved closer to one another, I could see a look of acceptance come over him, as if to say, "It was inevitable....if you hadn't gotten me, it would have been someone else. Don't worry....I'll be fine." Silently I nodded and for a moment, we hung there, suspended in space and time, knowing that the world would go on....and then came the sound no one wants to hear. The quick THUD that let me know Mr. Squirrel had gone on to a better place. A paradise of traffic free roads....fields full of nuts and corn cobs....a place where he can run free for the rest of his days. I did sneak a peek in my rear view mirror and saw that indeed, he was....well....no more. I felt horrible.

Later on in the day, when I picked wee one up, I again had to pass over the "spot" where the tragedy happened. However, I did not see a body....my spirits lifted....perhaps I just stunned the little guy and he got up and ran away! I was feeling much better. I could just see him sitting at the dinner table with friends, a little bandage on his head, telling his amazed friends how he cheated death once again. However....this story has a sad ending. This morning after dropping wee one off I realized why I had not seen him....he was really, really flat. Had the sun not been shining down on the pavement, I would have continued to believe that I had missed him and that he had somehow escaped the tragedy that had befallen him.  I know that it was not intentional, yet still, I feel sad.  I called my husband immediately after it happened for support. He said, "You did WHAT????" Wow honey, thanks for the kind words! Sheesh.

Anyway, that is my tragic story for the day. I think I'll spend the rest of the day in quiet contemplation of the meaning of life....sigh.