Ahhh, childhood.....

I don't know if I should laugh or cry....I'm feeling so melancholy right now.  I'm sitting at my computer, enjoying a steaming bowl of tomato soup and crackers, with my balsam fir candle, listening to Christmas music from my childhood, basking in the glow of my computer desk tree.  Isn't it funny how a taste, a scent, or the first few bars of "Frosty the Snowman" can catapult you back to your childhood?  Images of my dad stringing Christmas lights on our live tree flood my memory right now.  My sisters and I would be in our red and white "my heart belongs to daddy" nightgowns, just waiting to start putting the ornaments on the tree.  My mom would be in the kitchen making hot chocolate, and Gene Autry's Christmas album would be playing in the background.  I remember being so excited, knowing Santa would soon be on his way.  Remember the big bulbs we used to string on trees? Now those were festive!  I would stare at them for hours.  My favorite part of the evening happened after the tree was decorated. My parents would turn off the lights, and we would fall asleep on the floor, wrapped in our blankies, watching that beautiful tree.  Because of the disease that is slowly yet progressively taking my father away from me, it's hard to remember him young and vibrant. My childhood memories of him are of a loving father and husband.  Nothing was more important to him than his family and his God.  Christmas time was such a fun and magical time for us.  Dad loved it just as much as us kids.  I remember him slow-dancing with my mom in front of the tree, holding her close and smiling.  Life was good....how I wish those feelings could be recaptured.  Or perhaps a quick trip back in time, to enjoy one more of those Christmas's.  Of course, I know that isn't possible, and I am making new memories with my family. My kids enjoy our traditions as do my husband and I.  I can only hope that they will look back on their childhood with the same love and warmth that I feel with mine.