Okay, I will give you a moment to get the children out of the room....
In our neighborhood, we have a problem with cats. Specifically, the lady next door to me who is in her 60's and has over 20 of them. They breed and breed and breed. I am going to call the humane society....soon. Especially after these antics.
This morning I was in my youngest daughter's room, gathering garbage and any dirty clothes she may have forgotten to put in the wash. I turn and look out the window and what do I see? Yes, two cats about 10 feet beyond our fence, "gettin it on". I am appallled! There they are, in plain sight, buck naked and going at it. Now, I'm no prude but shouldn't this kind of love be kept behind closed doors? This is not what I expect to see when looking outside my daughter's bedroom window!
I turn from the window, and continue on with my chores. As I'm walking through my family room....there they are again. Still going at it. I have to give the male cat credit, he was taking his time, making the female feel loved and cared for. At one point, I think he was actually whispering in her ear....but from my point of view, I could have been mistaken. Again, I look away, and continue on.
As I walk into the kitchen, I look out and....they are still at it. Now, this is getting ridiculous! They were obviously not married, because we all know he would have been sleeping by this time. As I'm contemplating turning on the Barry White CD in the boom box on the back porch, another cat approaches. Oh no....it's not going to turn into a feline fetish frenzy out there. I don't want my backyard to become a literal "cat house". So, I begin to unlock the sliding door so that I can yell at them to go away....however, they apparently are finished. It is at this point I turn from the window, and without realizing it mutter, "f**** cats".
****Disclaimer: I am not, nor have I ever been a voyeur of "cat love". I saw them for a total of about 30 seconds while doing my cleaning. Next time, I will clean before opening the blinds!
12 comments:
Only you can create an entire entry on 2 cats doing the nasty!!!! What a riot!
I think the Barry White would have been a nice touch--maybe speed things up a bit...Too funny...
Oh my gosh--I'm glad your daughter didn't see this! Next time I'd get out the water hose! :o) ~Kim
That was so HYSTERICAL!! Thank you so much for the laugh, I needed it desperately today! Not that I am all for cat lovin' in the middle of the yard, but it was funny how you were describing this! Oh, and yes, you should call the Humane Society. This world does not need more cats that aren't fixed and starving in the wilds.
Hugs and love, Lisa
I was laughing so hard my kids wanted to know what was so funny.Great entry. KIM
LOL!!! That was hysterical!!! :-))
haha I dont think I should have read that! oops lol yea we live by this too. In the beginning this guy brought 2 cats down then they had kittens...then the kittens had kittens with eachother. My dad once counted, there were 9 cats running around our backyard. It was disgusting because they stunk up everything! But I never seen anything you saw! lol -Rae Ann
You are TOO FUNNY! Who else would've been able to pull off this entry! Thanks for the laugh.
Smilin Mon
Oh my goodness! Yes call the Humane Society. This women can't care too much for her cats, or they'd have been fixed instead of mass producing! I think if they're in your yard again, I'd hose them off. I love cats, I have 3, but they sure aren't goin' around the neighbors gettin' busy. LOL ~Melissa
Ya know....I think you were witnessing a RAPE...it's always a Rape when it comes to poor kitty cats. I think you should have ran out there with your broom....LIKE I WOULD HAVE...and chased that bad boy away and given the female some tuna for her troubles. LOL But anyway..this entry has excited me some...I love dirty stories.
Omg....I love this entry............Deanna
That has to be the funnies description of Nature at her Naughtiest iv ever read
Have you ever considers Narrating for a wildlife program?..
Thank for an entertaining read.
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