This is exactly how I feel. Exactly. I want to jump up and down, scream, cry....just totally lose it. There are so many things going on right now that my anxiety level is through the roof....
Right now, the issue that I am dealing with that is sending me running and screaming from the house is the dog. I don't know what has happened, but he can't walk. His back legs will not hold him, and if I am able to get him to stand, he takes two steps and they twist underneath him. Also, his back paws are bending forward, as if he can set them flat. A bit of research shows that this is most likely caused by nerve damage. I have picked him up no less than 100 times this weekend. 77 lbs. of dead weight on my back....yes, my legs are hurting and my disk is ready to pop. John has picked him up the other 100 times, as the girls are not strong enough to do it. I have a call into the vet right now, but I dont' know what they can do for him. Of course, with him not being able to walk, means that he sits there, barking. Over and over and over. A high pitched, sharp, break a glass bark. Every time he does it I can feel my blood pressure rise.
I have been a terrible mom/wife this weekend. The stress has gotten to me and I've been so crabby. Every word my husband said to me was like nails on a chalk board. I hate feeling that way....but he was driving me insane. Just writing this is making me edgy!
I need to go do some yoga....but it annoys me. Maybe I should go take a walk. But it's so danged hot here I would melt. (Living here is a whole other issue....). I need a hobby that I can sink myself into to release some of this pressure. I need....I need....I feel guilty about needing. There are people out there today, who are coming home to houses that have been totally destroyed by storms. Their lives gone and never will things be the same again. So what am I complaining about? I dont' mean to sound ungrateful. Trust me I'm not. I know I'm blessed in so many ways.
But damn it....sometimes things just suck.
20 comments:
((((((((((((((((((((( hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Sometimes you just need to have a few off days function properly. You have NOT been a bad mother or wife no matter what you tell yourself. Im sure that so many other readers like myself look up to you in many ways. I hope things start going better today for you and Im sorry to hear about percy. I hope he will be ok.
You work SO hard and are so loving to your family -- of course you NEED for yourself! The dog situation would send anyone over the edge. Good luck with the vet.
I feel for you Sherry, you are going thru a lot right now...try to take one issue at a time or you will go crazy...I know when I am having issues everyone gets on my nerves too...you just want to escape!
Plenty of (((hugs))) coming your way. . . Good luck with Percy and heck, John too! I can relate totally to how you are feeling, and I hope that it passes quickly. A sparkly bathtub always helps me. . . *sigh* Cya, Kris
I know exactly how you are felling Sherry,dont worry though,it will get better.You are NOT a bad wife/mother,your just stressed.And poor Percy,I hope he's not in pain going through this.Here's to having a better Monday.Hugs,Kim
Poor You! I'm so sorry it's not even 9am and you are feeling bad. Poor percy. that bark obviously is a scream of pain. It is so horrible when the animals are in so much pain and have no way to tell us. He's probably really upset that he has to be lifted up. He just wants to walk. Could he have had a stroke? As your friend though I'm so upset you have to lift him. You have had bad back pains and you are only going to aggravate that again.You shouldn't even be lifting up a vacuum nevermind a full grown golden retreiver that is dead weight. (((((((((((((((((Sherry)))))))))))))))
Ya know, I know he had a recent uti. When my cat was dying..it was out of the blue and it started with going on the rug and then she couldn't walk and the doc said it was kidney failure. I couldn't put her to sleep though she was like my baby. She could only use front poors and was dragging her legs behind her and she had lost her balance too so she was bumping into walls. She died the day after I left the vet anyway, 9 days after she lost her back legs. If the kidneys aren't working, poisons aren't being filtered out of the body and it causes all that.
Your right! I'm sorry about your dog that stinks! Take a break/rest. Find a good hobby! What do you like to do? What about scrapbooking? That's fun. *Stephy*
You are allowed to get frusterated... join the rest of us who feel guilty for having a rough day and griping about it. It wasn't your fault that some people don't have anything. That is how it fell. I am sorry that your dog is having a rough time of it. Maybe it is time to put him down. I know how hard that can be but maybe it is the humane thing to do. I hope you have a better day...or just enjoy being frusterated. Sometimes that is best.
I feel for you
Liz
Hate this for you! My dog, Maddie, had kidney failure and it sounds like it was the same as Percy. But the up side was that she was only 22lbs. The down side was that we had to put her to sleep a week before I gave birth to my first child. I just cried and cried. I hope it goes better for your dog. I realize that I probably just depressed you further. I am sorry.
Traci
I know how you feel. Hope today gets a little better with everyone out of the house.
Poor Percy and poor you! Wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but I think I am all dried up when it comes to those. I hope you get some peace soon.
Hugs and love,
Lisa
sing it, momma - I relate more than you imagine... :)
Poor Percy, though...he's getting up in age and that must be sad for you... :-/
Big hugs your way....
~Amy
I hate it when I get the crabby feeling and everything gets on my nerves. I hope Percy is ok when you take him to the vets. Can you swim when your in the house on your own or is it too hot for swimming. Hope you feel less stressed soon :).....Jules xxxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/
((Sherry))
There is so much stress all over right now it is hard to deal. I feel very blessed myself but there are somedays I can only take so much so I do understand.
Hang in there and prayers for you, Percy and much cooler days ahead of us!
Gretchen
The way you describe his feet bending forward and all it sounds like what bonez has. ITs ruptured disks and he gets them all the time. three or four times. Its so hard and he is so determined. all the times he has been told he would not walk again becuase of the location of his and he has. But they need to get the help done asap. He needs to have this saline solution and iv getting in and clearing his back up. I have found many herbal things that have helped bonez and have realy made him better. It has so kept him from getting worse and he is 13 or maybe 14. anyway I give him glucosamean and it really helps him so much. Let me know how percy is that is the second friend with a serious dog problem today. I can understand your frustration its would frustrate me too. HUGS HONEY I M so sorry wish I was there to help you.
Poor Percy and poor you! I know you love him, but having to lift him, I can only imagine. No one thinks you are ungrateful, well I dont anyway. You are dealing with a lot these past few weeks or more. I hope your load lightens soon. ~Melissa
I agree with you... sometimes things just plain suck! I'm so sorry Sherry!!!
~Jaime
(Screaming and stomping right along with you!)
I had that "edgy" feeling last week right before TOM arrived. Actually, edgy is a very "kind" word. I really just wanted to kill someone! (LOL!) I know how you must feel about your dog. I have a 7 year old miniature dachshund. She threw out her back about 3 years ago and her back legs were totally paralyzed for about 2 months. I had to do all the carrying around BUT she only weighs about 11 lbs! I can't IMAGINE carrying my other dog....he weighs 55 lbs!! Hang in there...as they say "this too shall pass."
Jeanne
I'm sorry to hear you are geting ready to blow a fuse. I find chocolate helps. I hope your dog is okay. My sister's dog became paralized in her rear. The vets couldn't find anything wrong. My niece works at a doctor's office. The doctor deals with bones and stuff. Sorry, the meds just kicked in. He gave her samples of some medicine. It fixed him right up. The vets were gonna put him down. If the vets can't find the problem I will find out the medicine's name. Maybe you can get your hands on some. Course your dog may not have the same problem. Just get a second opinion okay?
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