The "talk"....

Well, it finally happened. I had been hoping for at least one more year, but no, she finally asked. Wee one was sitting with me on the bed last night and said, "Mom, how does the baby actually get inside you?" I was caught off guard for a moment....however, quickly recovered and turned the question back to her. "How do you think they get inside?" She smiled and made a kissy-face....with tongue. Oh man....

I asked her what she was doing and she said, "It's called a French Kiss mom," like I should have known. I said, "Where did you hear about that?" and she got all sheepish. I asked if she and her friends talked about it at school and she giggled and said yes. Then she gets serious and says, "Is that how the French really kiss?" Stifling a giggle myself, I told her no, well, maybe they do, but so do Americans and everyone else. It's just called a French kiss. I thought since we had veered from the original subject I had dodged a bullet. I should have known with my sharp witted little wee one, that was not the case. 

Again I asked her how she thought they got inside and this was her explanation. "Well, when you French kiss, the bacteria gets into your mouth and down inside, and it goes to the egg. You know, like on the beginning of that movie where all the squiggly things are swimming?" I had to think a minute, and then realized she was talking about the beginning of "Look Who's Talking," where they show the sperm (Bruce Willis' voice) talking and racing toward the egg. This time I did laugh, and explained about a woman's ovaries, uterus, egg, sperm, etc. Of course I didn't mention how the sperm actually got there, I figured she didn't need to know that. However....she asked me point blank, "So, when you kiss a boy it gets in there?"

At this point I decided not to lie and to tell her the truth....in a kid friendly way, of course. Dr. Phil says if they are legitimately asking, then you need to answerhonestly. I began by saying that two people who love each other and are MARRIED want to show their love by being together. They kiss and hug, like mommy and daddy do, and yadda, yadda, yadda.... Of course, once I got to the physical aspect of it, I had to tell her that it was not through kissing but, "Ummm, well, uh, ::clears throat::, lower." She starts laughing and says, "Oh right mom, like the wiener," and then she laughs hysterically. I look at her and say, "Yes, honey." I would have loved to have taken a picture of her face at that moment. Her eyes got huge and she just looked at me. "WHAT?" I managed to eek out the rest of the story, being sure to mention that sex is a gift from God, that it was meant to show love between a husband and wife. I said this was also the way women become pregnant. The parents love would create a child that would be loved with all their hearts. She though a moment about that, then turned to me and said, "Are you sure God wants us to do that?!" LOL. I have to admit, I laughed at that one.  Of course, after a few minutes, the horrible truth hit her and she said to me, "Oh my gosh. That means, you and dad?!"

I played that part down....wayyyyy down, and she was okay. You know, you have kids, they become toddlers, elementary age, then *bam*, they are learning more than you ever thought they would. I don't remember ever having "the talk" with my mom. I think I just learned it from friends. However, I do remember in 7th grade, a friend of mine who's mother had died, asked me the same thing wee one did. She thought you got pregnant from kissing. I laughed at the time, and was immediately sorry because I could see that she was hurt and embarrassed. I didn't want that to happen to wee one. It was obviously the time to tell her, and I think our talk went really well.

Apparently she had been thinking about it after we had talked because this morning as I was brading her hair, she asked me, "How long does it take to get pregnant." I wasn't sure how to answer. I said that it could happen right away or it could take months. She said, "NO. I mean when you have sex, how long does it last?" Oh man....how do I explain this one? Before I could answer she said, "It probably takes an hour or so, huh?" Thank goodness it was time to leave for school....I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth about that one! LOL....

Talking to myself....

You want to know what one of my biggest pet peeves is? It's when people are shopping and talking on their cellphone, but using the earpiece. I can't tell you how many times I have walked past someone, heard them ask a question, then turn and say, "Pardon?" only to get an annoyed look as they continue on with their conversation. I make it a point never to do that....until yesterday.

I had sent my sister some information via e-mail and hadn't heard back from her. When she finally called, I was just getting ready to walk into Wal-Mart. Normally I would have sat in the car and talked, waiting to go in until I had finished. But I was hurrying to get home before the girls were out of school....so I broke my own rule and put the earpiece in as I grabbed a basket. Now, I don't know about you, but I can't talk and shop at the same time. I need all of my attention when I'm trying to decide which toilet paper is the softest, or which scent of fabric refresher I'm in the mood for. So I decided to head off to the department I needed to go to, which was the furthest from the door, figuring I'd be off the phone by then.

As I was turning the corner down the sewing machine aisle, I noticed an elderly woman fiddling with a sewing machine. It was apparent that she had taken a piece off of it and could not get it back on properly. Just then my sister said something funny and I said in a loud voice, "Oh My Gosh! That is just CRAZY!" The little old lady turned around and looked at me and said, "Well, I suppose I do look a little crazy, trying to get this thing back on."

I felt like an idiot! I immediatley dug through my purse, looking for my phone and held it up saying, "Oh, I'm not talking to you! I'm on the phone! See????" Of course, my sister heard the entire thing and is laughing hysterically in my ear. I'm not quite sure the lady believed me, or perhaps she was not accustomed to using a cell phone, not to mention the accessories....but she did smile. I apologized....several times....and hauled butt around the corner. Sheesh. Next time I will do my talking in the car!

Since the girls were off today, wee one had two of her little friends spend the night....oh the horrors! They were very good....but very wild. They did go to bed at a decent hour, but they were up rather early....having breakfast in the tree house. Of course, they decided to dump any leftover waffles, toaster strudel, cereal or juice on the ground with the assumption that London would eat it. Which she did....and I couldn't get her to come back into the house for anything!

I took Betsy to the doctor yesterday for her leg pain. She's been really suffering with it lately, and the lifting at work plus the heavy backpack from school hasn't been helping. They took x-rays and her spine is slightly curved at the base, and her hips are not aligned. The doctor said that this is most likely irritating the nerve endings, causing the pain. She is scheduled for 4 weeks of physical therapy, and has a new medication for the pain. I hope that it works because I just hate to see her suffer with this. She didn't see any arthritis or disk problems though, which we are very thankful for.

Tonight we went out to dinner and then to Michael's. Wee one wanted to get valentines to make for her class. She was disappointed that they didn't have the ones they had last year....the little cut out, foamy bears that you would glue together. She got hearts instead. They are really cute....they look just like the candy conversation hearts. I got two really cute prints and frames for them to go into. JB got a photo album for his car pictures. He says he is going to organize his dresser drawers....which contain more pictures than, well, drawers....lol.

Okay, it's late and I'm tired. Peace out!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

I'm sitting here listening to my husband going through what I deal with every day by myself, "Stop it London. No bite! I'm going to tell your mom on you!" He just called me to come in there and stop the dog from nipping at him. Well, I'm not going....he can deal with it on his OWN. I'm still recouperating from the nasty bite mark on my ankle. She would NOT leave me alone today! All she wanted to do was play, and when I told her no....she would run behind me and grab my calves, sliding down to the ankle and biting like a mad dog. LOL. Then she would ram her head into the back of my knee, causing it to give out and I'd stumble across the room. I tell ya, if I break another elbow because of a dog....Now she is in here with me, looking up with those innocent little eyes saying, "I'm a good girl mommy! Pet me! Love me!" LOL....

This week has gone by achingly slow, hasn't it? I feel like it should be Friday. Today was an "early release day" and they are off on Friday....another "unused hurricane day".  No wonder foreign countries are so far ahead of our kids academically. This is ridiculous! Soon it will be spring break and then out for the summer. Of course, it feels like summer now. I told John yesterday, as we turned the a/c on in the house, that it sure doesn't feel like January. Right now it looks like fall outside. The leaves are falling from the trees and everyone needs to rake. Weird.

JB and I went to the grocery store alone this evening. Wee one is at church with her friend, and Betsy was working, so we decided to go to the cell phone store (he broke his holder AGAIN), and then to Winn Dixie. I went in and got everything I needed....except for the eggs. I am completely out of eggs and that was the one thing I wanted to be sure to get. And I will tell you why I forgot. JB has been whining and complaining that he was out of coffee creamer. Whine, whine, whine. "It just makes the coffee taste better." he says. "You can't go back to plain milk after using it!" So, as I'm walking down the paper towel aisle, I remember the creamer and begin my mantra, "Remember the creamer, remember the creamer, remember the creamer....", which is right next to the eggs. I pick up the small container and he is looking at the big container....so then I pick up the big container and I'm looking for the expiration date. I get sidetracked and whizz right past the eggs. So, now Mr. "I can't drink coffee without my creamer" will get a smooth, creamy cup of coffee with his breakfast of toast, bacon and NO EGGS....kinda serves him right, doesn't it?

How not to make a smoothie....

Today I've started my "healthy lifestyle change". What does that entail? Cutting out 90% of my sugar, incorporating more fruits and vegetables, and daily exercise. I've done really well....I just came in from walking the dog and decided to make a smoothie. I put my frozen blueberries in the blender, along with my carefully measured 1/2 cup of fat free yogurt, 1/2 cup light white grape juice, and 1/2 banana. I hit the "liquefy" button and waited. It would whirrrrr for a moment, then stop, due to the frozen blueberries. I would start it, stop it, stir it, restart....over and over and over. To be honest, I knew this would happen....it happens every time I make one. However, I was hot and thirsty and getting rather impatient. So what did my brilliant little mind decide to do? Of course....why not gently push the blueberries down with my spoon whilst the blender was on?

I did good for about, oh, 5 seconds before the blade hit the spoon. Both London and I stood there in shock as the half defrosted, blueberry goop spit out of the blender and sprayed all over the counter, the floor and me. I turned the blender off and just stood there, as smoothie dripped out of my hair onto my pretty lemon-yellow shirt....it was a sight to see I'm sure. I went into the bathroom to survey the damage and I looked like I had just been in a fist fight....the blueberry smoothie was all over me and it looked like I had bruises on my arms, neck and....well, let's just say I now have my own personal "blue ridge mountains" sitting on my chest!  I took off my shirt and put it in the washer, then washed my arms and neck, and rinsed out my hair.

I went back into the kitchen and was greeted with a clean floor, thanks to London and her penchant for blueberries....however, the counter top, cabinets and sink are covered with smoothie. I suppose I could look at this as a positive experience. I mean, I did get double the exercise, having to scrub my kitchen surfaces. And isn't there some recipe for using bananas on your hair for conditioning? Of course, my skin is still stained a lovely purple. Maybe I could convince JBthat I fell on my walk, while trying to become a healthier wife for him and he will take pity on me with, oh, say a nice  diamond wedding band? Hmmmm, this diet thing may not be so bad after all!

 

**No pictures of this event were taken....and I wouldn't have posted them anyway! LOL** (Sorry Marian!  )

 

An evening in St. Augustine....

Well, the weather has been perfect today. It hit somewhere around 79, the sun was shining and a gentle breeze was blowing. Since both girls had things to do, JB and I took off for an evening in St. Augustine. We should have known better than to try going downtown at 5:00 on the first really nice weekend of the year....but, we did it anyway.

It took us 25 minutes to get there, only to be slowed down by a driver who apparently hadn't read the manual to his new car, an accident that had the main drag backed up to the highway, and about 1,000 other people who had the same idea that we did; enjoying a nice evening out. JB was crafty enough to sneak down a side street, and once again we were off, flying down the highway to the lesser known entrance to the city. Seems, however, that other's had gotten the idea as well, and we were stuck in the turning lane for three freaking lights. I was getting po'ed by this time, especially since JB had sped past a turn that would have bypassed the light. I was tapping my fingers on the door, sighing heavily, and saying that we would "use an entire tank of gas" sitting there. He ignored me....which of course made me even madder....and we finally got through the light, only to be stuck in another line of traffic. He asked what I thought we should do and I said, rather rudely, "Just turn here and we will come up the other street....I don't care!" Now, this is where God decided to teach me a little lesson in patience. The second we turned, a car pulled out and we got PRIME parking. John flicked on his signals and whipped that truck right into the space. I know what he was thinking. I know what he wanted to say to me. "Darling, had I turned when you wanted me to, or stayed in the line where the accident was, we never would have gotten this space." However, he did not say that....he just walked around all evening with a silly smirk on his face, commenting on how it was soooo crowded and man did we get a good parking spot. Yeah, yeah....I get it. I was wrong to be impatient. Sheesh! LOL. I suppose I need to work on that issue....

Anyway....as you can see from the above pics, we had dinner in the cutest little pub! I was so excited to find it. I wasn't sure exactly where it was, but wee one and my aunt had eaten there a few weeks ago and said it was really good. They were right! Of course, I had to embarrass JB by taking pictures of dinner, menu's, condiments and the like. But hey, isn't that what life is about? Having fun with the ones you love....and we did have fun. After dinner we walked at least 4 or 5 miles, all around the town, along the water, around the fort, then back to St. George Street and on to Killwins for some fudge (to take home) and ice cream cones. They have the best waffle cones! He had some sort of pecan praline, and I had my usual, chocolate peanutbutter. We only have their ice cream probably twice a year, but it is very good. After getting our cones, we strolled along and enjoyed the lights. It really was gorgeous....the pics don't do it justice.

We headed back to the car and JB started whining....I asked him what his problem was and he said, "It's just that it's such a good spot....I hate to leave it!" Are all men like this when they find a good parking spot? We made our way to the car and got situated....and I'm waiting and waiting....and he isn't turning the car on. I look at him and he says, "But it's a GOOD SPOT!!!!" Lord, help me!

Eventually we made it home....before 8! I tell ya, we are such wild people. I called my mom and she was like, "It's not even 8 and you are home????" LOL....

So now, here I sit, writing this....and he is in the living room, relaxing in front of the tv. Betsy got home from work and is eating her Chinese food, and London is laying next to me, chewing up a piece of paper....wee one is at her slumber party and the JBCoupe household is calling it a night....

Lawn care, vet visits and other unimportant stuff....

Today was London's last "puppy shot" visit to the vet. She did really well....she weighs 25 lbs. now....up 5 lbs. from her last visit. (Of course, mommy probably is too, but I'll talk about that later....). She is such a good girl at the vet's office, and everyone loves her. Today she sat on my lap with her front paws around my neck. It reminded me of when I took the girls to the doctor when they were toddlers! Both the doctor and the vet said to her, "You do realize that pretty soon you will be too big to sit on mommy's lap, don't you?" LOL. While I was paying the vet brought out her blind kitten and she and London ran up and down the halls, chasing each other and playing. It was so sweet! I reall think London needs a playmate. I've been perusing the Golden Retriever rescue organization in our town....

I bought some One a Day Weight Smart vitamins. I figured since I wanted to start taking a multi vitamin, I might as well take one that could possible jump start my metabolism. JB and I have been walking 2 miles each night, so maybe with this little boost I'll feel and look better. Anyone ever tried them? Success? Fail? Good? Bad? Reviews are welcome....

I am so mad at our lawn service. Last year we signed up for one year's service. I got a print out of all the applications, and how much they would be. We finished with them and I received a notice that said we had until March if we wanted a special price. Soooo, yesterday the guy comes and sprays the lawn. I didn't know why, and when I saw the statement in my door, it said we owed money....huh? I called and this is what they tell me....we are on a revolving account and that they continue service until we tell them to stop. Ummmm, WTF? I told her we were NEVER told that, we NEVER agreed to that, and why weren't we called and asked if we wanted to continue? I asked her where in the contract does it state this, and she said that it is a "verbal" contract. I told her we were not "verbally" told this. I called the national number and they said the same thing. I asked where it was exactly in the contract and he said he couldn't tell me, but he would transfer me to my local dealer. I told him nevermind, I had already experienced their run-around and I wasn't interested. So....do I owe or not? I have NOTHING in writing that says we had to call and cancel. I have a printed out schedule that says exactly what they were going to do and that these specific things were paid for. I am beyond pissed. So I said that I wanted to cancel my service and she asks me "Why?" in an annoying voice. I wish I could have said what I wanted to....but I'm trying to be more Christian....

I can't believe it's Friday again. It seems as though time is just flying. I have shorts on today. SHORTS! In January. So weird. But I was hot. It is nice outside....like that first day of spring when everything smells fresh and clean....

Okay, I'm off to mop the kitchen floor before the crew starts coming in. Later....

I forgot to put in a subject....

THU    FRI   SAT

66°F   75°F  78°F   What is happening to me? It's cold outside....yet my thermometer reads 48 degrees. That was a heatwave in Indiana this time of year! I wouldn't walk outside with the dogthis morning because I was cold....and of course she wouldn't go out without me....so I ended up taking her out, then getting into a hot shower for 15 minutes. I'm losing it folks....I might as well admit that my blood has thinned, I'm getting used to the heat, and according to the forecast, Saturday will be a great day to go to the beach to soak up some sun. Sigh....I feel so defeated. My northern ancestors are shaking their heads in shame....

In other news....I finished my ironing last night. I spent two hours on it but I was working on it in front of the tv so I wasn't bored. I watched All My Children, which I had missed during the day whilst at the pizza party. Which, by the way, went well. The kids were happy with their pizza and chicken wings and my cupcakes were a hit. The other mom and I walked in just as they were grading a test....on which wee one scored 100%! It was a 13 colonies test where they were given a map of the east coast and they were to fill in the blanks with the correct states. We had made up a....oh man, what do you call that when you use the first letter of each word to help you remember something????....anyway, we did that and she remembered it perfectly.  She looked over at meand wrote an "A+" in the air, to let me know....lol.

Not much else going on here. I am out of my "annoyed funk" today. Well, as of 10:45 am I'm still out of it....we will just have to see how the rest of the day goes. I noticed that a lot of people here in j-land seem to be in the same state of mind. Must be the time of year.

I have to go re-windex all of my mirrored and glass surfaces. I don't know what happened, but last night I started noticing streaks on everything I cleaned yesterday. I hate when that happens. Perhaps some Pledge got on my paper towels and caused the problem. In any case, I could see the streaks on my sliding glass door, bathroom mirror and computer monitor. Oh, and the tv in my room. I'm almost out of paper towel too. Betsy told me that there is one brand that I buy that tends to streak....of course I dont' remember if it is Bounty or Brawny. I can't imagine my studly Brawny guy would streak on me....hmmmm, that came out wrong....but what a mental picture! LOL....