Oops....

When we moved from Indiana to Florida, we gained some and lost some.  Specifically, we lost a huge garage (3 car) and gained a small garage (barely 2 car).  So obviously we lost a lot of storage space as well.  Our 15 year old really doesn't need her bike anymore, as it is not the "cool" thing to ride, so it sits at my mom's house, 5 miles away.  Our 9 year old, however, needs her bike....at all times.  This means we have to squish it in the garage along with my mini-van, the 57 Ford and the motorcycle.  You might remember that she got a new bike for her birthday on Christmas....well, it is bigger than her old one and, thus, will not fit in front of the 57 so that the garage door will close.  So, last night I moved it behind my van (you see where this is going?) in order to close the door.  Now, when I did this, I had a brief flash in my mind of her new bike horribly mangled under my van....but I shrugged off the thought because I am a "good mom", and would "never forget" that I put the "new bike" behind my van.  Well, turns out I am not the "good mom" I thought I was.  I did "forget" and slammed on my brakes this morning, as I was backing out of the garage....unfortunately it was after I heard my van coming into contact with the "new bike".  You know, it's moments like these when things seem to go in slow motion.  I remember turning my head and seeing my daughters eyes grow wide with horror.  She puts her hands to her face and there is an audible, "Moooommmm, NNNOOOOOOO!"  All I can do is look at her and think, "Crap....my husband is going to kill me!"  (There was a previous "wagon incident" in '98).  I got out of the van, and ran to the back.  Apparently somehow, somewhere, someone was watching over the new bike, and all that happened was a tiny scrape....and a bit of a gouge in my bumper.  *HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!*  My daughter looked her bike over and prounounced it okay, and we got into the car and went on our way.  Oh yes, I did have to endure the taunts and jeers of my teenager and her friend, who said, "And you're worried about US getting drivers liscenses!"  Of course, this little incident will not be mentioned to hubby....there are just some things he doesn't need to know!

Aren't the holidays over yet????

Here we are, day 9 of Christmas vacation (if we aren't counting weekends).  I know that I usually sing the virtues of being a sahm, of enjoying every moment of being with my children but....I NEED a few hours to myself!!!!  I have had family and friends with me for the past week and a half and I'm about to go nuts!  How I long for an hour where no one dirties a dish the minute I drain the sink.  Or, perhaps ten minutes to admire my clean floor before someone walks across it with dirty shoes.  Or the quintessential 20 seconds of QUIET!  Last night I made a beautiful dinner....the lasagna was hot and tasty, flaky garlic bread, toasted to perfection, a salad loaded with fresh veggies and baby spinach, and homemade oatmeal-chocolate chip cake warm from the oven....did I get to sit and enjoy it?  Sure....after I served youngest and friend, (shift change) then oldest and 2 friends (shift change) then crabby husband home late from work.  And let me tell you that the lukewarm lasagna, wilted salad that had all the good veggies picked out of, and cold cake was just wonderful (enter sarcasm *here). I shouldn't complain, I know.  My kids were here with me, I have enough food to feed my family and others, blah, blah, blah....I guess the Christmas spirit has officially "left the building".  I do feel a twinge guilty talking like this....but sometimes you just have to vent.  (Well, that and I still haven't found a therapist around here!)   

Dinner time....

I can't believe how empty the mall was today.  I took the kids there because my dd's girlfriend who is staying with us for a week, swallowed the end of her tongue ring last night at dinner, and needed a new one.  (I know, how gross!  DD will NOT be getting one!).  So, we picked up the boyfriend and went to the mall.  I sent them off on their own, and my little one and I went shopping the sales.  I thought it would be crowded today, but it wasn't bad.  I got three calendars at 50% off, a wall hanging for dd's room, and a new book bag for her as well.  I tell you, those rolling book bags just fall apart if you get the cheap ones.  So, I splurged and got one for $19, on sale from $30.  My dd is thrilled because it has dual wheels.  She was pulling it around the mall saying, "Mom, you just won't believe how smooth this is!"  I tell you, sometimes it doesn't take much to impress a 9 year old.  So, from there it was off to the grocery store for dinner supplies.  I have tons of stuff at home, so why do I feel it necessary to go to the store and buy more????  I don't know.  I forgot to set the hamburger out to defrost, so I needed fresh meat. Anyhoo, it's lasagna (is that spelled right?  It doesn't look right....) and salad and oatmeal cake for dessert.  Yeah, like I need a fat-laden, carb-filled dinner after the holidays.  I really need to lose some weight.  My plan is to try the Weight Watchers points system.  Has anyone out there tried that?  I have heard good things about it.  I am not a candidate for Atkins, because I hate meat and cheese on a daily basis.  SlimFast has worked before, if I needed to lose a quick 5-10.  I actually like SlimFast a lot.  Maybe I will merge the two....do you think I'll lose twice as fast?   

Cor Blimey....what a Christmas!!!!

Christmas has come and gone and everyone here is thrilled with their gifts.  The girls actually want to be sent to their rooms; as the oldest got a dvd player and mini-fridge, and the youngest got playstation 2 and a mini-fridge.  Hubby got WWII movies galore, a cover for his motorcycle and plenty of reading material.  So, you ask, what did I get?  Well, aside from the homemade 3rd grade ceramic elephant from my youngest, (I had tears in my eyes from the sheer cuteness of it!), and the body massager from my oldest, hubby decided to go with a "theme" this year.  He is usually pretty good about gifts, but this year, he tried to get me things that he knew I liked.  A bit of background to explain the theme; I don't watch much tv, but when I do, 90% of what I watch is on BBC America.  I love all things British, and enjoy an occasional evening at the British pub that is near our home.  I've always wanted to go to England, but doubt I will, since I have a fear of flying!  So, being the perceptive bloke that he is, he decides to go with an english Christmas.  I got a Union Jack sweater and scarf, a UJ flag for the car (when I opened this, I told him I love him dearly, but I am NOT going to stick it out my window!), a key chain, a sticker (which is on my new fridge), an umbrella, a coffee mug (which I am having trouble with....I mean, would it be sacreligious to put coffee in an English mug?  Do I have to switch to tea?), and a baseball cap which I have been wearing most of today.  Oh yes, he also got me six "Mr. Edward's Traditional Mini-Mince Pies".  I tried one, and I am assuming that mince pie is an acquired taste.  My father, however, loved them, so I gave them to him.  (BTW, he also got me a new sewing table....non-british!).  I have to say, I was thrilled with each of those crazy gifts.  Just the fact that he learned how to go online, find the store, and order me something that he knew I would like, makes my heart sing.  He's a "good bloke" and I wouldn't trade him for the world.  I think I'll grab my "ducky" and plant a huge kiss right on his "gob"!

Christmas Morning Mauling.....

It's Christmas morning, and I'm the first one up.  I have decided to take one last, long look at our tree, with the presents beautifully wrapped and placed just-so underneath.  Something catches my eye near one of the gifts.  A slight movement.  I get closer, letting my eyes adjust to the light.  Again I see it, but this time I know what it is....a lizard.  Now, lizards in Florida are like mosquitoes in Minnesota or rattlesnakes in Texas.  It's just part of living here.  ANd they aren't huge, iguana type lizards, but cute green things like the Geiko gecko.  Still, I need to remove him before the kids wake up.  I take a step closer, and he wriggles up the doorway trim.  He stops, eye level with me.  He is strangely cute sitting there, basking in the glow of the holiday lights.  Almost like an ornament.  I step forward for a second, just to see him close up.  It is at this moment that, I swear to you, he SMILES at me, and leaps.  I can't tell you what it's like to feel little lizard feet on your scalp on Christmas morning.  I am frantically trying to brush him out of my hair, spinning around and nearly missing crushing all of the gifts that I had so carefully placed around the tree. I can only imagine the image of the lizard and I, in our silent dance of horror.  Somehow, I must have brushed him off in one of my frenzied grasps, and he landed on the tile floor of the foyer.  After letting my pulse settle down for a moment, I went to the lizard, lying still on the floor.  At that moment, I knew only one of us had come out of our tousle alive. I gingerly picked him up by the tail, and opened the front door.  I threw him toward the yard.  As he flew through the air, I gave him a little salute.  I mean, he did put up a good fight.  Well, I hear the pitter patter of little feet, which means my kids are up, and will soon want to open gifts.  To all of my friends out there in journal land, have a wonderful, merry and lizard-free Christmas! 

Symphony Review

Ahhhh, what can I say?  It was absolutely beautiful!  We arrived in plenty of time, since we had never been to the concert hall before.  We went inside, and were met with a string quartet playing in the lobby.  It was so lovely!  There were many people milling about, just enjoying the sounds and the decorations.  We then went and found our seats, which overlooked the orchestra.  We had a great view of the audience, and the musicians.  I have to say, I have never seen so many people dressed in red and green in one place!  You could see kids straining to see the musicians, laughing and giggling with excitement.  Parents were pointing out the different instruments to their children.  It was quite a family affair.  Many elderly people; the women in festive holiday hats and their husbands with bow ties....it was so cute!  Soon they lowered the lights, the orchestra tuned up, and the maestro walked onto the stage.  He was quite personable, telling cute jokes between songs, and involving a few audiance members in "The Twelve Days of Christmas".  I can't tell you how beautiful the music was.  I just closed my eyes, and I was in another place.  My troubles and worries seemed to melt away, with each wonderful, rich note of music.  It is amazing how music can affect you.  It was warm and cozy inside the music hall; it's not a huge place, very intimate.  My girls loved it, and surprisingly, my husband said several times on the way home how much he enjoyed it.  He said that it was "comforting".  I don't know what it was, but being in that room, with my family and the incredible music, I felt safe.  I didn't have to think about rushing around and shopping, bills or dh's work issues. There was nothing to do but bask in the glow of the season.  It was a beautiful evening....one that I am thankful to have been a part of with my family.  I highly recommend it to everyone! ;o) 

It's Symphony Day!!!!

Well, today is symphony day!  I am so excited.  We go this afternoon....what should I wear?  Hubby asked this question, and I told him since we have orchestra box seats, we have to dress as though we can afford them.  (No one needs to know I got them with a coupon!  LOL.)  Hopefully, hearing the beautiful music will put us more in the spirit of Christmas.  I will report back later and let all who care to know, how everything went. Fa la la la la........

Sleep? Not me....

Well, it's Friday, the first morning of my children's Christmas  vacation from school.  It's 6:50am, and they are sleeping soundly....cuddled under blankets, enjoying their slumber.  So why, you ask, am I not in bed?  Oh, I was.  I was sleeping soundly, in the midst of a lovely dream (something about sugar plumbs....) when the phone rang.  It was my husband.  Did he want to wish me a "good morning" from work because he missed me?  Did he know he would wake me up, but just couldn't stand not hearing my sweet voice saying "I love you" ?  Nooooo, he needed to tell me he forgot his "secret santa" gift for his holiday party today, and what did I think he should do.  Well, the first thought I had involved placing (shoving) the gift somewhere that the recepiant would never think to look....so I nixed that idea. I knew he couldn't come home to get it, because the bossman wasn't in yet....so that left one option. I must go sometime before noon and deliver the gift.  I really shouldn't be surprised that this happened.  This is the man who at about 8:30am on Dec. 24, will grab our oldest dd, and tell me they are going out to "run errands". Two hours later, they return and say, "Don't go in the garage!"  Of course, I shouldn't fault him.  He does have that condition that makes it hard for him to remember things like consideration, common sense, Christmas, and gifts.....he's a MAN. (sorry, couldn't help that one!)  Actually, he is a good man and his gifts, though purchased last minute, are always thoughtful and pretty much what I would like. He always gets me a Hallmark card that either pops-up or moves in some way, and his wrapping never fails to make me smile.  I call it his "man wrapping".  He will use a gift bag, but always forgets to buy tissue paper.  He  substitutes with his shop towels, which are white and surprisingly absorbant. So, I suppose I will forgive his forgetfulness and take him his gift.  Right after I take a nap!      

Nuttin' honey....

I feel so accomplished right now!  The entire house is clean *sparkle sparkle*, and right at this moment there is absolutely nothing I need to do.  I am just going to sit in a state of zen for a moment and enjoy.....ohmmmmmm.....ohmmmmm.....okay, enough of that.  Now I need to figure out what to get my parents and mil for Christmas!  They are so hard to buy for.  We were going to get tickets to attend the Gaither's Gospel Hour Christmas concert for our parents and my family, but Dad is just too weak this year to go.  I am so glad that we had the chance to go last year, because they absolutely love the Gaithers.  I remember them listening to their albums as a child.  So, now I'm not sure what to get them.  As for the mil, I was thinking about getting her (now, don't laugh), a membership in a local Florida "monthly fruit club".  I know, I know, it sounds corny....but the woman loves oranges.  She is a nurse and is a health freak.  She has yogurt and an orange almost every day for lunch.  Her idea of a sweet delicious snack is an orange.  (Mine, of course, is a Snickers....and we all know Lanny enjoys cookies!;)  So, I think my idea is a very good one.  I mean, if I didn't like her, I'd send her "pork rinds from around the world" along with "booze of the month".  I'm actually suggesting sending her something healthy and nutricious.  I told my husband of my idea and he liked it.  Okay, one down, one to go.  I'm sure I will think of something wonderful and moving.  Something they will talk about for years to come.  (Hmmmm, clapper or chia pet....)

Good morning....(even though it's afternoon)

Good morning....although technically it's afternoon.  I was a naughty girl this morning.  I got up at 6:15, took my dd to the bus stop, came home and got 2nd dd ready, took her to bus stop, came home, vaccumed and windex/armour-alled my van, ate waffles, checked my e-mails, then....went back to bed for 2 hours!  Oh, I am a bad girl!  Dh called and woke me up, so I tried to sound "awake".  He has not been a happy camper lately at work, and I didn't want to make him feel bad knowing I was lounging in our soft, big bed....when I should be cleaning, ironing and baking for dd's class party tomorrow.  Actually, my throat is rather sore, and I hope I am not getting the STREP dd just got diagnosed with last night!  (She's on an antibiotic, and was allowed to go to school because she didn't have a fever).  She told me that it is terrible at school, that everyone is sick.  She said in gym class yesterday they were all standing around, feeling each others neck glands....oh what bored teens will do these days!  Anyhoo, I have made up for my lazy morning by cleaning, mopping and doing some wash, and when I get off the computer, I will bake. My girls only have two more days of school before Christmas vacation.  Where did the time go?  I can't believe it is almost Christmas once again.  Is it just me, or do the holidays sneak up on everyone? Okay, enough lolligaging....I must bake....here I go....yup, I'm getting up right now....here I go....I'm really going....riiiiigggghhhttt nooowww..... 

Moment of Happiness....

Well, it's Monday which is my official "cleaning day".  So far I have dusted, windexed, mopped, swept and done 2 loads of laundry.  As I was walking back into the house after letting the dog out, I had one of my "moment's of happiness".  I get these every-so-often and wonder if anyone else does.  I can't really explain where it comes from or why it happens.  I'm not usually thinking about anything in particular or doing anything out of the ordinary when it happens.  I just get this feeling of warmth and happiness that washes over me.  I look around and am so happy to be in my house, cleaning and being a mom.  I'm filled with thanks that I have a warm house to step into out of the cold.  My kitchen, messy with breakfast dishes and objects that I have told the kids to put away hundreds of times over the weekend, is comforting in some strange way.  In reality I know that I've only got $150 left in the checking account after all the Christmas shopping, yet I still have to pay for a doctor appointment tonight, and two grab-bag gifts.  Payday isn't till Friday, so I have to make the 1/4 tank of gas last till then, even though I have to run errands tonight.  The dog is limping again, so I need to get him his expensive pills and hubby and I had an argument last night that wasn't resolved this morning....yet, I feel happy.  My theory is that there will be a time in my life, when I am old and frail and perhaps lying on my deathbed, when I will wish my biggest problem was cleaning the kitchen.  I will wish I could nag the kids to put things away....because now they are busy with their own families and I don't talk to them as much as I would like.  I would wish I could tell my husband "I'm sorry", even if it wasn't my fault, because now he is in a nursing home and doesn't know me.  These moments of happiness keep me going and help me to realize that everything in my life is a gift.  Good or bad, clean or dirty, I am thankful for it all! 

My sweet family.......

My youngest went with her student counsil group to sing at a nursing home today.  They had to take a stuffed animal for a patient and she took a patriotic beanie babie. We talked about those that don't have much and how Christmas is about giving....and she decided to give with a loving heart.  I told her that maybe she could give hers to a man, because it was not a "girly" stuffed animal, and men like things that are patriotic.  When she got home, she told me that she gave hers to a man.  Then she told me, "I gave it to him because he looked like he might have been in a war."  She was so serious, and I had to try not to laugh or cry!  It was so sweet.  I asked her if she told him Merry Christmas, and she said she whispered it to him because he was "Not all the way asleep, but his eyes were almost closed."  She said he had his head in his arms, and she put the bear in the crook of his elbow.  I don't know why, but the thought of a child, gently placing a teddy bear in the arms of a nursing home patient brought tears to my eyes.  I asked her if the people were happy to see the kids and she said, "Oh yes!  Some of them were asleep, but most of them were smiling and clapping and kept saying hi."  I know that this trip had an effect on her.  My husband thought the trip would be too depressing, but I told him that kids need to learn that everyone deserves love and compassion, no matter how depressing the situation might be. I went with the group last year, and it's so sad to see these mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers,  sitting in a hallway in wheelchairs with no one to talk to. When we went last year, there was one particular lady who was all dressed up, watching the children and smiling....her eyes sparkling with the memory of years past.  She grabbed my arm when we walked out and whispered to me, "You know, I was a teacher for 60 years."  I congratulated her on her long career, and asked her a few questions.  She smiled and squeezed my arm before we left.  It makes you realize that the gift of time, of ourselves, can be just as exciting as a brightly wrapped gift; and more fun to give.

     

Cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it's been a fun afternoon....I have just finished baking cookies for my first-ever neighborhood cookie swap!  I am so excited.  I made merangue m&m cookies and chocolate marshmallow cookies.  I hope I made enough!  The get together is tomorrow from 11-1, although I'm sure we ladies will chat longer....I mean, two hours for a house full of women, plates of cookies, coffee, and no children?  Come on!  LOL.  The lady who has been confiding her personal issues in me will be there, although I'm sure she won't be talking about things tomorrow.  (At least I hope not!)  I have been kind of avoiding her by driving my daughter to the bus stop for the last two days.  All I can say is thank goodness we haven't gotten to "chatty- phone-call status" in our friendship. I would go nuts!  Anyhoo, there is going to be a parade in my parent's neighborhood tomorrow, so I think I will send the kiddles to watch it while I'm at my party.  DH has to work, so I don't have to worry about him....he would be so lonely without me for two hours....ha!  He wants to go to a car show tomorrow night with our 57 Ford.  Now, I don't mind car shows, but I'm just not in the mood right now.  He's been waxing and polishing that thing all week, in anticipation for the show....so I guess I will be attending.  Hark....I hear the incessent buzzing of my dryer....duty calls!   

Finally!!!!

Well, it's 4:00 am and I finally got the airline ticket mess straightend out.  Might I give all who read this some words of advice?  DO NOT wait until the second week of December to book airline tickets for the end of December.  The prices go waaayyyy up, and the budget flights are few and far between!  I finally found a flight out of Chicago for my oldests dd's best friend, so that she can spend the holidays with us.  (She is the daughter of my best friend who passed away).  This girl is like a daughter to me, and every Christmas and summer break, I send her a ticket to spend time with us.  Somehow this year time just slipped away from me and I forgot to get the ticket.  But, thank the good Lord, I found one and she will be on her way.  "Cheers" to the customer service staff at Travelocity, who feilded my 5 calls....they were quite helpful.  "Jeers" to my freaking internet service (the supposed superior broadband service), who seconds after pressing the "buy ticket now" button, froze up.  This is why I am up so early, and spent a night tossing and turning.  The cs lady told me to wait until morning to purchase a new ticket because maybe it went through and it's taking a long time to show up (I didn't want to accidentally purchase 2 tickets!).  So, I waited as long as I could, (being that the flight only had 3 empty seats and I was sure someone would buy it during the night), then got up and re-purchased. With that done, I can go back to bed and have a restful hour of sleep before the day begins again.  Ahhh, the joy of the holiday season.... 

What a day....

Do you ever have one of those days?  You know, where you feel like everything irritates you?  It started this morning with a new friend (we've seriously talked about four times now), telling me of her horrible marriage and how she needs a friend to confide in and talk to.  I don't mind talking, but she is going through some really serious stuff, and telling me all about it.  I really feel sorry for her, but it's a lot to take all at once.  I feel overwhelmed and bombarded....I don't know what to do.  She has told me so much that I can't just avoid her; not to mention the fact that she has huge abandonment issues. What should I do?  (Advice would be appreciated!)  Then, I deposited my check and my mil's Christmas check she sent to the family, and shopped for gifts.  I went store to store, and although I got most of what I wanted, I feel like I didn't get everything.  And I was frustrated because I was hot.  I thought it was cooler than it was outside, so I wore a tank top with a jacket over it.  Wouldn't you know, after the first store, the rain stopped, the sun came out and I was burning up.  So, why didn't I just take the jacket off?  Well, because I wore the tanktop that had the stain on it that is covered by the jacket.  So, I had the air on full blast as I drove around town.  Then I come home to my supposedly faster-than-the-speed-of-light broadband, and the thing freezes at least 10 times.  Once I get on, I find that I can't get the airline ticket I need, because the website is down.  And of course, while preparing dinner, washing dishes, and helping with homework, dh comes in and wants to discuss life insurance right now.  AAAAHHHHHH!  I have about had it today! 

Chat room clique....

I have been in my fair share of chat rooms....99% of them G-rated ;o).  My favorites are the game chats in the AOL Parenting section.  It's great to relax in the evening with a fun game, and lighthearted chat.  However, trying to break into the regular "mom" chatrooms is not as easy as one would think.  Usually, I begin by entering and quietly watching.  Most of the time, the chat is already going full steam so no one notices.  After acclimating myself to the conversations that are going on, I decide to say "hi".  Nothing.  The chat continues and I wait.  Someone new comes in and I am the first to give a "hi" to them....nothing.  Invariably, they are already a part of the "parent clique" and get (((((hugs))))) from everyone else. So, I wait and read some more.  Okay!  They are talking about a subject I am familiar with.  I come up with a witty remark, wait for juuussst the right moment and BAM!  Hit send.  Nothing.  What exactly is it that one must do to break into these cliques?  Perhaps I need to be on for hours at a time. Maybe I need to be more forthcoming with my hugs. (I'm just not a hugger.)  How is it that while searching for a community that embraces stay at home mom's, I am rejected?  I find that this is a commonality in most of the chat rooms I visit.  In my old transatlantic chat, you knew who the "leaders" were. They were the ones that told the worst jokes, yet got the most LOL's.  I tried the 30's chats, only to find that those are basically for people looking for, well, encounters.  There was only one chat room where I was accepted and felt like a friend from the beginning.....and that was a Canadian chat.  Chatrooms are sort of like being in high school again.  The "popular" people take over, with the lesser known chatters left on their own, to live vicariously.  And not unlike high school, as you are sitting there, waiting to be noticed, the one and only pervert surfer decides to talk to you.  I tell you, you just can't win!    

When all else fails....bake brownies

Well, the anniversary has come and gone.  We began our day at Cracker Barrel; eggs cooked to perfection, bacon crisp, biscuits fluffy, grits, well, gritty, gravy hot, and my personal favorite, hashbrown casserol!  We also had coffee.  Now, hubby and I have this "thing" we do every time we go out to breakfast....we fix each others coffee.  I reach across and put 4 packets of sugar in his cup, as he does the same for me.  Then we exchange creamer, and stir, using each other's spoons.  Afterward, we clink glasses and toast to us, then savor the first robust sniff....dramatic pause....and drink.  Ahhhhh, delicious.  Anyway, after that we went to Toys R Us and got youngest her birthday gift, (which happens to fall on Christmas day), a new bike. We got her a chain and mirror and these cool flashy things that go on the spokes. Then, it was off to Home Depot for the grab bag gift dh needed, and onto the mall where we walked around.  After that we headed to Lowe's where as we entered, we promptly forgot why we had gone there, and left for Wal-Mart.  A box of lights and pair of tweezers later, we were back home, "celebrating" before the kids got home. (I know, too much information, right?)  That evening we went out to dinner and over to my uncle's house to visit, and then back home where life went back to normal....dh asleep on the couch in front of the tv, and me in bed, flipping through channels.  Today started off good....the glow of romance still surrounding us until around 1:00, when I decided to try to set up my AOL broadband.  I needed a very heavy desk moved, and a hole drilled into the wall....this is where things fell apart.  Hubby was not happy about stopping his lawn work to come inside and help with yet another project. Crab, crab, complain, complain, and *poof*, the romance faded.  Then my girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant, yet again, which sent me into further depression.  (I want another baby but dh is fixed and I don't have a boyfriend....sigh).  So, I did what any other person would do, I baked brownies.  And to top it off, I covered them with Heath bits and chocolate chips. Zoloft, no way.  Prozac?  Forget it.  I will medicate myself with chocolately goodness....I can feel the happiness coming on!  (Unfortunately, it's coming onto my hips.)

Ahhh, childhood.....

I don't know if I should laugh or cry....I'm feeling so melancholy right now.  I'm sitting at my computer, enjoying a steaming bowl of tomato soup and crackers, with my balsam fir candle, listening to Christmas music from my childhood, basking in the glow of my computer desk tree.  Isn't it funny how a taste, a scent, or the first few bars of "Frosty the Snowman" can catapult you back to your childhood?  Images of my dad stringing Christmas lights on our live tree flood my memory right now.  My sisters and I would be in our red and white "my heart belongs to daddy" nightgowns, just waiting to start putting the ornaments on the tree.  My mom would be in the kitchen making hot chocolate, and Gene Autry's Christmas album would be playing in the background.  I remember being so excited, knowing Santa would soon be on his way.  Remember the big bulbs we used to string on trees? Now those were festive!  I would stare at them for hours.  My favorite part of the evening happened after the tree was decorated. My parents would turn off the lights, and we would fall asleep on the floor, wrapped in our blankies, watching that beautiful tree.  Because of the disease that is slowly yet progressively taking my father away from me, it's hard to remember him young and vibrant. My childhood memories of him are of a loving father and husband.  Nothing was more important to him than his family and his God.  Christmas time was such a fun and magical time for us.  Dad loved it just as much as us kids.  I remember him slow-dancing with my mom in front of the tree, holding her close and smiling.  Life was good....how I wish those feelings could be recaptured.  Or perhaps a quick trip back in time, to enjoy one more of those Christmas's.  Of course, I know that isn't possible, and I am making new memories with my family. My kids enjoy our traditions as do my husband and I.  I can only hope that they will look back on their childhood with the same love and warmth that I feel with mine.  

Good Morning!

Well, since it is now December, I have decided to change my font color to "holiday green".  How festive.  Today is going to end up being a day of cleaning, washing floors, etc.  Why, you ask?  You see, my normal schedule is heavy cleaning on Monday and Friday, with a slightly less thorough going-over on Wednesday.  All other days get a vaccum and floor mop as needed.  So, after finishing my order of sewing last night, I was thrilled to think I had a Thursday free of work/cleaning, etc.  I spent the evening deciding what I should do today....should I go shopping?  Get a massage?  Sleep?  And then I remembered that Friday is our anniversary (the big "16"), and I won't be able to do my cleaning because hubby has taken the day off.  Bummer.  Not bummer that he is home, but bummer that my cleaning schedule will now be off.  To the average person, I suppose this sounds insane.  "What?  She's complaining because she has to go out and spend a romantic day with her husband instead of cleaning?"  No, that's not it.  It's just that I hate it when my schedule is off.  I have suffered from OCD since I was a child, and organization is my life.  I like my dishes stacked properly, my socks going in the correct direction, and my cleaning days in order.  I'm not a hand washing germaphobe, I obsess about order.  Trust me when I say you can come over any time of the day and my house will sparkling.  Even when it's dirty, it's clean.  My cabinets are organized, my linen closet would make Martha Stewart cry with joy, and my junk drawer is neat and tidy. I am lucky that I found a man who is a neat freak. His garage is the envy of all the other men on the block.  He painted it a white-white this summer-you have to squint when you come in from the sun. The tools are alphabetically organized. You could eat off the workbench or perform surgery on the floor. We are a perfect match. So, I will clean today and not complain about the schedule change.  And tomorrow, hubby and I can enjoy our day, knowing that the house is clean and things are in their place.  (Of course, I can always vaccum when I get home!) 

Oh, lonesome me....

I went to the lab today to get my blood taken for my last test.  It was a 2 hour glucose test, which meant I was stuck 4 times. I am always amused having my blood taken because I went through a phlebotomy course and clinicals; so I know what they are doing, and if they are doing it correctly.  Guess what?  98% of phlebotomists are not doing it by the book!  But, they are the ones with the needles, so I don't say anything.  Anyway, as I was sitting in the waiting room, watching people come and go, I realized that I am really a loner.  I saw people who knew each other, saying hello and asking about thier holidays; and I saw people striking up conversations with one another and being friendly.  Not that I'm not friendly, I am.  I will say hi and smile.  It just seems that I give off the "stand-offish" vibe.  My mother says I'm too negative.  That I judge people too harshly before I know them.  Well, perhaps I do. I am not the sweet, down home, funny gal.  I'm more of a dry humor, "Is she being rude or is she British?" kind of gal.  My uncle is the same way, so I suppose you could say it runs in the family.  In any case, I try very hard not to judge people before I know them.  God has made it abundantly clear that I am not always on the money with my observations of others.  I have found a few friends in people I would never have imagined being pals with, had I not gotten to know them. It seems whenever I begin a new relationship, I almost try to find something I don't like, so that I don't get too close to them.  I know why.  It's because in June of 2001 I lost my best friend to ovarian cancer.  I miss her so much.  We would talk for hours every day about everything and nothing.  I suppose I don't want the hurt of losing someone again.  However, sometimes I feel so lonely.  I long to have a best friend,someone I can confide in and relate to.  Someone to shop with and have lunch with and snicker over secrets together. You know what I mean? Yes, even a sahm gets lonely.    

And so ends another holiday weekend....

Well, Thanksgiving is over and now comes the dreaded Christmas rush.  The decorating is done here, but that's it.  I still have to bake cookies and shop....which means I will be shelling out some serious dough.  (Pun not intended but it was a good one!)  The hubby put up the outside lights on Friday, and boy do they look nice!  My youngest dd helped him and they had a wonderful time.  The started at 9 am and finished around 3:30.  I, however, decided to run to Wal-Mart.  Let me just say that going to Wal-Mart the day after Thanksgiving is insane.  I was weaving in and out of aisles, dodging crying toddlers and wayward seniors.  But, I did get my ten boxes of lights, two extension cords and a packet of replacement fuses.  Oh yes, and my one impluse buy....the new surround sound equipment.  It was on sale for only $49, so I couldn't pass it up!  It actually sounds very good, however, our vcr is not one that can be hooked up to it, so we will have to get one that is compatable.  Which, of course, will shoot that $49 good buy up another $70+ dollars.  Hey, I never said I was a financial genius!  

It's Turkey Day!!!!! (But we're having ham....)

Ahhhh, it's the dawn of another Thanksgiving morning.  Wonderful smells of food are wafting from kitchens across the country....but not from mine.  We are eating at Mom's today and I am in charge of the side dishes; mashed potatoes and broccoli casserol.  This year, with Dad being sick and a houseful of family Mom decided on purchasing the "Ham Dinner" offered by Heavenly Ham. It comes with a ham,and a few side dishes. However, upon seeing the size of the side dishes, we decided that the advertised dinner for "12", would feed 5, if only 2 people ate the side dishes.  So I am bringing the aforementioned potatoes and casserol.  That's fine with me, because it just isn't Thanksgiving without broccoli casserol!  And, it isn't Thanksgiving without turkey....but, alas, it is not on the menu. While shopping last week, our local grocery store was offering a free turkey with a purchase of $75 or more.  Of course, this falls on the day when I swear I will stick to my list and only get what is on sale.  But I say to myself, it's a free turkey.  Who can pass that up?  So, I turn the cart around, and start my shopping over again, adding to the sales items so that I can get my free turkey.  Here's where my math skills fail me.  Instead of keeping the sales item's and actually paying for the turkey for a grand total of $40.92, I spend $75 and get my free $10.92 turkey.  I'll admit, I did need most of what I added to the cart. Of course there were a few nonessentials, but I got my free turkey.  I know what you are saying....why didn't you just pay for the dang thing?  I DON'T KNOW....It just seemed neat to be able to say I got a free turkey.  And really, what tastes better than free turkey?  The whole reason I got it is because I am going to prepare my little family our own turkey dinner this weeked.  That's right; even though I don't have to toil over a hot stove this year, I am going to give my family a traditional Thanksgiving meal.  Yes, it will mean more work for me, dishes to clean up, and Saturday spent cooking instead of shopping, but I am willing to do it. By the way, did I mention that hubby doesn't like turkey?     

Happy Freaking Holidays....

Well, it's done.  I have finished my holiday decorating.  I tell you, I am exhausted!  Here's how it all started....I spent the entire day cleaning, and getting ready to put up the tree since the wee one wanted it up before Thanksgiving.  "Mom, it's tradition!  Can't you have it up when I get home from school?"  Oh sure.  I'll just add that little project to my list! (Oh, and as a sidebar, I was feeling rather "frisky" all day, so I shaved the legs, called hubby with suggestive comments, and couldn't wait to see him when he got home.)  He gets home early, so that he can paint the front of the house.  Fine.  No problem.  All I ask is that he help me move the loveseat into dd's room, so I can put up the tree.  We start moving it, and it won't fit through the doorway.  Then we bang it into the woodwork, scraping the paint and gouging a nice chunk out of it.  And so begins the yelling.  "I'm so glad I came home early to move furniture!  Why do you always have to start these projects?"  (follow that with a string of curse words, especially when he catches his hand in the springs of the pull-out bed).  Frisky level at this point....zero!  And as for my "project", forgive me for being festive and wanting my house to look nice.  So, long story short, things were said, yelling happened, and I ended up in the bathroom crying.  Hubby comes in and apologizes, I begrudgingly forgive him, (can't let him off too easy), and I begin putting up the tree.  All goes fairly well until after dinner, when oldest dd decides not to save the leftovers, but put them down the disposal.  Dinner was spaghetti, so of course, it slides down the pipe and gets stuck.  Disassembly of sink pipes and a grounding later, things calm down and the tree is finished.  Now, that I am able to sit and enjoy the glow of my beautiful tree, my anxiety level is so high that my stomach hurts and all I want to do is go to bed.  So, on that note, I will bid you all goodnight....for tomorrow is another day....whoopie.   

Million dollar dog....

I just got back from the vet with my dog, Percy.  I expected to pay close to $100 for the visit, since she wanted to do a certain test....boy was I surprised when the total was $206!!!!  Holy crap!  Do you know how many Christmas presents I could buy for that amount of money?  She took 2 vials of blood and gave him 3 shots.  However, she decided to do a complete lab panel, with a test costing $56 alone!  Sheesh!  I don't know that my doctor does that kind of elaborate testing on me!  Now, don't get me wrong, I want Percy to be healthy.  But $206?  They are testing to see if his pheno med levels are preventing seizures....well, duh, he hasn't had one, so I'd say it was working.  Our old vet never did these kinds of tests.  He checked him, gave him his shots and meds, and sent us on our way.  And tomorrow, she will call me with the results and a prescription for antibiotics....so there goes another $50 at least!  Although, if he needs antibiotics, that's reasonable.  While the assistant was checking Percy out before the vet got in there, she asked if I wanted the "extra" physical to make "extra" sure he was okay.  It was only an "extra" $45.  Needless to say, that was not done.  Well, I need to go and balance my checkbook....I believe it is safe to say my finances have truly gone to the dogs! 

Color me red and green....

Today I began my Christmas decorating.  I know, I know....it's not even Thanksgiving, right?  Well, it's a tradition with me that I have the house decorated for Christmas by Thanksgiving.  Strange?  Perhaps....but the tradition started because family from the south would come up north for turkey day, and we would have an early Christmas with them.  So, even though we are now here in the south, I am still continuing the tradition.  This afternoon I got out my two favorite cd's, "Christmas Sing-a-long with Mitch" and "A Gene Autry Christmas", and cranked up the music.  Then, I went room to room, singing and decorating, and periodically dancing in the kitchen with my 8 year old, while my 15 year old rolled her eyes and went into the other room.  I had a great time.  My husband came in from painting and just shook his head.  "You do realize that it's 78 outside and you are in here playing holiday music and decorating?"  Of course I realize.  I was wearing a tank top and shorts for gosh sake!  But, I didn't let the heat, or the summer-like day get me down, no siree.  I continued on and now, I sit here in front of my computer, basking in the glow of my "computer tree", and from here I can see my dining room "buffet tree".  I can also see the glow of both of my "kitchen trees".  And by Thursday, you can bet I will be finished with the "family room tree", and the "foyer tree".  I also have the 3 "bedroom trees", but they've been up for a week. Hmmmm, maybe that is just too many trees.  But they are so beautiful!  If I could, I'd have 50 trees....perhaps, after Christmas, I should seriously consider "tree-hab"....

Early morning shopping....

Okay folks, I'm going to play the "stay-at-home-mom" card here.  To me, the following is a true perk of being a sahm.  It is the quiet peacefulness of going to the grocery store just after it opens. At this time of day the sweet smell of freshly baked muffins and bread hangs in the air, the aisles seem wider and more spacious, and the early morning dairy stockers smile as they actually place the gallon of milk in the cart for you.  Cans and boxes are neatly placed on shelves, their lables facing forward, so they can actually be read.  The produce department is brimming with fresh, green vegetables that are glowing with the promise of vitamins and minerals in every bite. The fruits are polished to such a high gloss that you almost need sunglasses as you choose between McIntosh and Jonagold.  And then there are the checkout lines....oh the blessed lines!  The clerks are actually standing there waiting for you.  You are most likely their first customer of the morning and they are smiling and chatty. They happily run your items through and if a price check is needed, there are no scowls or heavy sighs.  Just a cheerful call over the intercom, "Jerry sweetie, I need a price check on celery, Thanks hon."  And, my favorite part, the comical retiree who packs your groceries.  "Paper or plastic young lady?"  At this early morning hour, this dawn of a new day, eggs get carefully placed in their own bag.  Bread is ever so gently tucked into the cart, no where near the canned goods.  Then, with a twinkle in his eye, the bagger asks, "May I help you out with your purchases?"  I'm always tempted to say yes, but I see the harried working mother running late behind me, and decide to let her reap the benefits of the early morning glow that surrounds the store. It's an experience that stays with me through my day.  And every time I reach for an egg, or glass of milk, I am comforted by the thought that tomorrow is another day, and I will surely run out of something before then.... 

Advertising the kids....

Have you seen those magnetic sports balls people have on their cars?  They are baseballs or soccer balls, and they usually have the child's name on them and/or their jersey number.  Am I the only one who thinks that this is a really bad idea?  I watched a show where a woman and her daugher were at the ballpark one evening and her little girl asked if she could go play with the other kids while her mother was talking with a friend.  She was allowed to....and was never seen again.  Someone abducted her.  It just seems to me that it is giving potential abductors information they need to stalk a child, by advertising their names and numbers on their cars.  Let's face it, you could follow a car with these magnets, follow the people into the store, and as the kids are looking around, start up a conversation with them, already knowing their name!  What kid wouldn't be excited if someone came up to them saying, "Hey 'Joey', I saw your game last night.  You were awesome!"  We tell our kids not to give out personal information on the internet, we tell them to be careful about talking to strangers.  But hey, that guy knew my name!   I have been seeing cars with the magnets without the names lately, and I think that is a much better idea.  It's sad that we have to live in a time when we can't shout out to the world our children's accomplishments for fear of strangers with sick intent.  I suppose all we can do is teach our children about stranger danger, and try to keep them safe to the best of our ability.   

Trophies and smiles....

Well, last night was my daughter's last basketball game and her awards ceremony.  She was a cross between happy and sad.  She really enjoyed her season, and made so many new friends.  After the game we went into the auditorium for the trophy presentation.  It was so cute!  They had a fog machine, music, (it was the "Y'all ready for this?" song they play at pro games), and they announced each girls name as they came across the stage.  They received their trophies from a Jacksonville Jaguar's football player, #2, Chris something....(hey, I'm not a sports nut!) Then we went downstairs for a pizza party.  Our family had a great time.  She wanted to take her trophy to school today, but I was afraid that it would break in her bag.  She has one of those bags with the wheels, and tends to pull it so fast that it turns over, flops around, you get the idea.  I could only imagine the tears if she broke that thing!  They are offering cheerleading for her age group, and they would be cheering for the 9-12 grade girls season (which would include her sister's team).  When I asked her if she would like to do that, she said, "No way!  I'm don't want to be the one cheering....I want them cheering for me!"  What a nut! 

What is going on here????

I think my counter is broken.  If it is correct, then 26 people have read my journal today.  Usually, I am the only one reading it....so, I am assuming it's broken.  There is no way I've become interesting overnight!  Well, since I am here, I should mention that we signed all the papers tonight for our home equity loan.  I was up at 2 a.m. worrying wether or not we were doing the right thing.  I just feel better knowing that all of my bills are in one spot, and I only have to write out one check, instead of 5 a month.  And, the interest is tax deductible!  Let me give a plug to e-loan.  We applied on 10-23 and it has been a very smooth transaction since the beginning.  They sent a notary to our house to sign the final papers, and he is mailing them back to the company for us.  Of course, I will be even more happy when the check hits the bank....so check back with me on Friday.  He told me that he "closes" 8-10 home equity loans per day at the beginning of the month, and 12-15 per day toward the end.  I tell you, there must be a lot of people out there struggling with credit card debt!  Hopefully this will be the last time we have to do this.  Well, I should go now....I've got a few cards to cut up!

Good, *sniffle*, morning....

It's been over two weeks and this cold is still hanging on!  Actually, it is much better, but I have sinus pain and pressure.  I probably have a sinus infection, and I should probably go to the doctor....but I'm sick of going to the doctor!  So....I will just wait it out with my trusty bottle of tylenol and box of kleenex.  Cold aside, we had a really nice weekend.  Saturday we went to our daughters basketball game, then she and I went to get my hair cut and then I took her for ice cream.  She just loves going out together and talking.  So, we took our cones and sat outside. I love listening to her talk.  She is such an imaginative and smart child.  I love listening to her tales of school, her thoughts on her teachers, her basketball game, our family.  It's amazing what you can learn just by listening to your child.  I know that I need to savor these moments with her, while she is still willing to talk so candidly with me.  I realize this when I have conversations with my teenager.  She is a really good kid, but I see her searching for her independance.  She tries to deal with problems herself, before coming to good 'ol mom.  I am proud of her for that, but a part of me is so sad that the days of needing "mommy" are almost gone.  I wonder if anyone else feels this way?  When I hear moms at the store telling their chatty children to be quiet, I cringe.  I realize sometimes we get headaches, or have a bad day....there's nothing wrong with that.  But I don't ever want to look back and realized that I had missed out on a moment of conversation with my child. I want to cherish each and every time she has something to say, and to make her feel that she is important.  I hope that my oldest feels that way....and I think she does.  Parenting is such a strange and wonderful thing.  Sometimes I'm scared I'm not a good mom, and other times I feel that I've got it down pretty good.  Whatever the case, I just want my kids to be happy and know that they are loved.   

I forgot to mention....

I forgot to mention....last night I got our family tickets to see the Jacksonville Symphony Orchestra's production of Holiday Pops!  It is being billed as a "festive evening of merriment and song" with "yuletide favorites and an audience sing-along".  I am sooooo excited!  And with the coupon in the mail offering buy a seat, get one free, I got us the "good" seats.  WooHoo!!!!

Brrrr....got my wish!!!!

Well, in yesterday's post I complained about holidays in the not-so-cold south.  So, when I went outside with my daughter this morning, as she was walking to the bus stop, guess what?  I nearly froze my butt off!  I am so happy!!!!  I am sitting here typing in a sweatshirt and sweatpants.  It is actually cold here.  You should hear people complaining.  "I'm freeeeeeeeeezing!"  and "Time to get the mittens out."  Florida....land of the wimps!  LOL.  I am so much more in the holiday spirit now.  I'm listening to Christmas music, and I am going to put up my "computer tree" today.  It's the little lighted tree I put next to my computer for the holidays.  This morning I had a steaming cup of coffee and a muffin.  Isn't it funny how just a simple 20 degree change in the weather can lift my spirits?  Of course, according to the AOL weather on the front of my screen, we will be back up to 81 on Sunday, but then it looks like a week of mid 60's to low 70's.  So, I will take advantage of one of the few cold days of the season, and enjoy the holiday spirit that is now running through my veins.   Happy holidays ya'all!!!!

Holidays in the south....

Thanksgiving will be upon us soon, followed closely by Christmas.  So why don't I feel the holiday spirit?  Why does it feel like it is still summer?  Oh, yes....because we are in FLORIDA!!!!  I don't say this as a good thing.  I lived 32 3/4 of my life in Northwest Indiana, and I am not adjusting well to this perpetual summer and half-a$$ed fall and winter!  Now, don't get me wrong.  Not all of it is bad.  I suppose I don't miss the nose-hair-freezing days, and I will say it is nice not having to snowblow my way out the door....but I miss my snow and I miss my fall.  This will be our second year here, and I'm still not used to a warm November and slightly chilly December.  My girls say it's just not Christmas without snow.  However, they weren't complaining last year when they found rollerblades and a skateboard under the tree and were actually able to go outside and use them the same day.  I do enjoy many aspects of life here.  My husband is much happier with his new job and has actual friends.  It was hard for him to have a social life during his 13 year stint on the midnight shift.  My girls are adjusting very well to school and have wonderful new friends.  So, I suppose if my biggest complaint is the weather, I should be thankful.  But dang it....I MISS IT!!!!  I miss hayrides on a cool crisp autumn evening.  I miss our trips to the apple orchard, and the smell of freshly pressed cider (have you ever tried to find a good apple in Florida?  Impossible!).  I miss the excitement of the first gentle snow of the season, and a moonlit walk amongst the pines with the snow crunching under your boots.  There's nothing like the smell of wet wool after a day of sledding, or the feel of a childs cold nose against your cheek as you warm them up.  When we were in the midst of moving, all I heard was, "You are so lucky....moving somewhere warm!"  But, in my heart, I was thinking, then you go.  I'll stay here and snuggle with my hubby under a warm blanket, while listening to the winter wind whip around my window.  Well, with that off my chest, I suppose I will go make my Thanksgiving dinner list.  And NO....we are not having turkey on the grill! 

Ahhhh.....relief!!!!

Let me start by saying that practicing for an ultrasound does not work.  I arrive, having drank the prescribed 40 ounces of water one hour before my appointment.  I have to wait an additional 15 minutes until they call me back, at which time I am beginning to feel the "urge".  I think I'm doing pretty good, considering that I don't feel like I am going to explode.  I get into the room, the technician puts the gel on, begins the proceedure, and says, "Oh my, you aren't even half full yet."  WHAT?  I did what I was supposed to do....what do you mean I'm not ready?  Apparently, different people have different sized bladders, (and I had been stretching mine, duh!)  So, she takes me to the water cooler, gives me two huge glasses of water, and tells me to chug them.  I do, and wait.  A few minutes later I'm back on the table.  "Well, you are almost there.  10 more minutes should do it," and she leaves me to wait.  At this point I am sweating, pacing, and holding myself like a three year old at the grocery store during checkout.  After about 3 minutes, I call her back.  She looks at me skeptically, but has me lie down again.  "Much better!"  she says.  FINALLY!  After three minutes of pushing as hard as she can right on my bladder, she lets me go to the restroom.  Sweet, precious relief!  As I write this, I feel like such a baby, but it helps to get it off my chest.  Thanks for listening....

Practice makes "pee"urfect....

Okay, so you know I am going to have my ultrasound tomorrow....well, I have been practicing for it since Friday.  Now, you may be asking, how does one practice for an ultrasound.  Well, I have been drinking the prescribed 40 ounces of water and then making myself hold it for 2 hours.  I figure, I have to drink it an hour before the appointment, and then I will probably have to wait for a few minutes until they call me back.  I must say, I am getting pretty good at it.  It's takes at least an hour and 10 minutes before I feel the "urge".  I know, I probably sound crazy to most, but I have a phobia about ultrasounds.  It's kinda like a clostraphobic being told they have to have an enclosed MRI.  I panic, start sweating, and ultimately end up a basketcase.  So I figure if I practice, I will be more at ease when the time comes.  An unexpected plus from my obsession driven weekend....I've had a terrible head/chest cold, but as I've been drinking so many fluids, I am feeling MUCH better.  So, there you go.  Nutcase....heal thyself!!!!

I just love being a girl....

I just got back from the doctor.  Not only do I have a nasty head cold, she also suspects I may have polycysctic ovarian syndrome.  I've had my "monthly visitor" for over two, yes two, months now, and frankly, I'm tired of it!  It's not uncommon for me, as I've always had less than 3 a year, and usually one that wont quit.  The only difference is that my old obgyn would treat it with a few months of birth control and call it good.  Now with all the advances in medicine, I get to have fasting labs, and two different kinds of ultrasounds before seeing a new gyno.  Whoopie.  You know, I would rather have a root canal than an ultrasound.  I know, I know, it doesn't hurt.  But after having two kids, my bladder is not at it's best.  I am lucky to make it to the bathroom 10 minutes after a glass of water....let alone 40 ounces an hour before!  Aaarrggghhh.  So, anyone reading this journal, think of me on Nov. 11th, 9:30 eastern time.  Send me mental chants of "hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it...."  I will be forever greatful. ;o)

Hmmmmm.....

I wonder....how many people are actually keeping up with the journals they have started?  As for me, I have been enjoying myself.  I love writing and telling stories.  But, as family life gets busy, I find myself not having posted for the day and that makes it seem more like a chore.  I want this journal to be fun, and fresh, and exciting!  But, I don't think my life = fun, fresh or exciting.  And then there's that counter deal.  Imagine my excitement as every time I click on, I see that there has been another reader.  The numbers keep climbing....I must be a literary genius!  Look how many fans I have!  WAIT A SECOND.... every time I check my counter, it is one higher....you mean every time I visit, it counts?  Oh for Pete's sake!  That means that I am my biggest fan!  How depressing!  So, this means that 90% of my viewing public is me.  That is really sad.  So sad in fact, that I think I will just go to bed.  That's right, me, good ol' #152 visitor to my journal.

A Loooooong night....

I am so tired!  I spent the night sleeping on the couch....now, don't jump to any crazy conclusions.  Hubby and I are still enjoying a blissfully romantic marriage.  My sister was flying in from Chicago, and my dad had to stay with me while my mom picked her up at the airport.  My dad has a neurological disorder, so he is not able to do things that require a lot of walking, and he can't be alone, so he was staying with me until they got back, which should have been around 11:45 pm.  So, at 12:30 when I called my mom, she tells me they hadn't even left for the airport because they had just boarded the plane in Chicago!  So....I was up every hour for about 15 minutes at a time, helping dad to the bathroom, until 4:30 when they finally got here.  Of course, I didn't mind, as my dad was so happy to see my sister.  So, my adgenda for the day will consist of taking my daughter to the bus stop, coming home, and passing out on the bed....goodnight everyone! ZZZZzzzzzzzzz

AOL Journals im's take 1....

Okay, I'm going to try the AOL Journals instant message thing. I wonder if it will work? I am surfing the journals right now, something I do in the evenings. I like to see if there are any new, interesting ones in the "stay at home mom" category. I have found a few that I enjoy, but people don't update often. I suppose that means that they have an actual life....unlike me, who is online. Sheesh! Well, I'm going to hit "send". Wish me luck! ;o)

Ahhhh Sunday.....

Well, it is Sunday once again.  We had a nice weekend.  We went trick-or treating on Friday, rented movies on Saturday, and went to church this morning.  The sermon was quite uplifting.  The pastor suggested a quiet time of worship every day, and I think that sounds wonderful.  I need to take time to reflect on my life and what God has done for me.  He has provided me with a wonderful family, home, life.  He has made me aware of how much I need Him.  I am ashamed to say that I go through my week sometimes without consulting Him on the big issues.  I take for granted what I have.  The choices I make are not always the best, and I am not the christian that I should be....sometimes.  So, I am going to make it my mission, to spend time with God daily.  Not just the quick morning prayer to ask for safety and health for my family during the day; but to take the time to thank God for his blessings and to invite him to live in my heart.  God is good....this I know.

Are you jealous of me?!....

I saw a commercial today which stated, "The average American has $8000 in credit card debt." This means that for once in my life I'M ABOVE AVERAGE! After thinking about it for a bit, I realized that this is probably not a situation in which I should be happy.  So we have decided on a home equity loan, again.  Here's the typical scenerio.  First house, Me: "Honey, we need to get a handle on these credit card bills.  Why don't we get a home equity loan?"  Hubby, "Sounds good.  Then we will be able to breathe easier!" We get the loan, stay in the house another four years, sell it for more than we paid for it, and pay off all cc debt. Me: Lets never use credit cards again!" Hubby:  "You are right!  Cut them up!" Flash forward to 2000:  Me: "Honey, we need to get a handle on these credit card bills.  Why don't we get a home equity loan? Hubby:  "Sounds good.  Then we will be able to breathe easier!" We get the loan, sell the house the next year, making more than we paid for it, and pay off all cc debt. Me: "Lets never use credit cards again!" Hubby: "You are right!  Cut them up!" October 2003....I think you know where this is going. 

 

 

 

Errands....

Well, it's 7:18 am and I am getting ready to take the wee one to the bus stop, then run errands with a girlfriend.  I think we will be doing breakfast first (belgian ((is that spelled right?  It's early)) waffle....yum!) then begin the Christmas shopping.  I know, I know, I've got at least 52 shopping days left, but I hate to procrastinate....lol.  I've already bought my first gift, so that's one down, hundreds of dollars to go!$

The tooth and nothing but the tooth....

I just got back from a dental appointment with my youngest.  According to the dentist she has "perfect teeth"!  No cavities, brushing like she should, and two loose teeth.  I am thrilled to say the least.  We were in the office for over an hour, then had to run to the bank, get a hamburger on the fly, and rush back to school so that she wouldn't miss her first student counsil meeting of the year.  As I was rushing about I started thinking of the things I probably should be doing; like finishing the wash that built up over the weekend, finish my sewing so that I can get my order in on time, pay my bills since payday was Friday.  And then when my daughter said, "Thanks for taking me out today Mom.  I like it when we're together," I thought again.  I shouldn't be thinking of everything else when I am with my kids.  So I had to wait in the waiting room for a while.  I was waiting with my daughter snuggled next to me, quietly reading a magazine.  And as we went to the bank, we talked about school and what she would be doing this afternoon.  Then we ate together in the car, laughing about stuffing our faces so she could get back to class on time.  And finally, she wanted me to walk all the way to her classroom with her, so she could kiss me goodbye.  What load of wash or bill is more important than that?  I will have plenty of time for mundane tasks when my kids are older and don't need me as much.  These are the times that we look back on and wonder when they grew up so fast.  They grew up at the doctor's office, the dental appointments, the sports practices we sped to at the last minute.  We were with them, but maybe we were cursing the long wait, or trying to pass the slowpoke in front of us on the way to practice.  We have to learn to look beyond all of that, and enjoy the time we spend with our kids....vacationing at Disney World or waiting at the dentist....it's all good to me.

Another day in the life....

Well, it's Friday morning, which means it's cleaning day.  Actually it's more like "get the house ready for the weekend because no one is going to be neat for the next two days"-day.  For some reason on Friday afternoon, the bookbags don't get put away after school like usual; instead they are left in the middle of the kitchen for me to pick up.  Shoes are tossed off at the door, instead of being put in the shoe rack.  When hubby comes home, is keys aren't hung up as usual, and he leaves his briefcase for me to either a. cook dinner around, or b. put on his dresser (which, by the way, he passes immediately after plunking it down on my kitchen counter).  Here's my question....when do I get to treat Friday like the end of the week?  My theory is that if I start with a clean and neat home on Friday, by Sunday it will be messy, but not horrible.  I have to protect myself or Monday will be torture.  We stay at home moms are always thinking ahead.  Sure, I'd love to toss caution to the wind and not wash the kitchen floor because it's "Friday"....however, by Monday no one will be able to get out the door because they will all be stuck to the floor.  I'd love to say, "Gee, I'm sorry you have no clean underwear but....it's the weekend!"  Since it's Friday, maybe I won't do a dang thing.  I'll just sit around and relax, rent some movies, have cold leftovers for lunch.  When everyone gets home, I'll tell them dinner will be the cereal of their choice.  Of course, you know I won't do it.  I'll do what I do every Friday, and make sure things run smoothly.  I'll pick up the shoes, put the bags away, and I will probably even put hubbys things away while I'm at it.  I know, I know, you are saying, "Why?  You deserve to relax too...."  I don't know why.  It's just who I am.

A Good Hair Day....

Well, I just got my hair done....$95 worth of done.  Truthfully, I don't feel like it was worth that much.  I got red "autumn" highlights to replace my golden "summer" highlights, and a trim.  So basically my hair is a little redder, and 1/4 inch shorter.  No one even noticed until I pointed it out to them.  Now, you would think that after spending that much money, someone would notice!  I think that my expectations of hair cutting day are much too high.  I have this thing about getting my hair cut.  Two weeks before my appointment, I begin leafing through hair style magazines at the store, in search of the elusive "perfect cut".  Three days before appointment time, I actually buy the magazine (at $3.99 a pop) and begin frantically searching, bending over the corners of the pages that I like, and shoving it under the nose of my husband while asking, "Which one do you like?"  His response is always the same.  "You know how I like your hair.  The way you have it in the picture of us when we were dating, long and curly."  (Not only is my hair short now, but in the picture I had an 80's perm and my hair was wider than it was long!)  I just roll my eyes, and go back to searching.  Ten minutes before the appointment, I take out the picture that I ripped out of the styling magazine that my Mom had, give it to the stylist, and get the same thing done that I always get done.  So, I am really out about $98.99 plus tax, if you include the purchased magazine.  But hey, my hair does match the season.... 

What a week....

Well, it is Friday....thank goodness.  It hasn't been an overly busy week, but it's been a long one.  And I don't feel good today.  I think I have a sinus infection.  I took some medicine today, and I believe it is wearing off.  Hubby is in Daytona until Sunday (he left Wednesday), so it is night #3 with no formal dinner.  Hmmmmm, bagels with peanut butter or chef boyardee?  Decisions, decisions.  My oldest is going to a church lock-in tonight.  In case you aren't familiar, that is a night of pizza and games and talking, locked in the church.  We used to have them as kids, and they were a blast.  Of course, that means she won't sleep all night, which means that Saturday will be a day of either a.) a crabby, snotty teen or b.) a sleeping teen.  I, personally, am hoping for b.  But, I will put up with either, because she chose church over hanging out at the mall, or any other mindless "teen" stuff.  She is a really great kid, with good grades, good morals, and a good head on her shoulders.  I am a very lucky mom.  So, that leaves my youngest and I for tonight.  I am so disappointed that they took Funniest Home Videos off Friday nights.  That was our official "start of the weekend show".  We would all get in bed together and watch it, laughing our butts off.  I suppose it will be back to Nickelodeon and SpongeBob.  That's okay too, though.  I honestly don't think that I am the only adult out there who likes SpongeBob.  I even watched him this morning, after the kids went to school while I was cleaning.  I can't help it....he's just so adorable.  I am a cartoon freak, I suppose.  Family Guy, King of the Hill, Home Movies, and of course, our favorite, The Simpsons.  I have a Simpsons theme running through our car.  Floor mats, steering wheel cover, and Homer antennae ball.  Even Simpsons checks!  You might say I'm obsessed.  I suppose I am.  Well, it's time to make dinner, or perhaps I should say "toast" dinner.  Bon appetite!

"Holy Cow....Almost"

"You knew they would blow it in the end."  That was the comment of an on/off Cubs fan friend of mine.  Well, yes, I knew that there was a chance that they wouldn't win, but more importantly, I knew that there was a chance that they would win.  That's what makes being a true Cubs fan so special.  As a child, I remember listening to Cubs games on hot summer days.  My father would be working in the yard, accompanied by the voice of Harry Caray on the radio.  I remember how excited we would be when we would hear the booming, "HOLY COW!" and singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" during the seventh inning stretch. The great thing about being a Cubs fan is that you would have a few seasons of inactivity but then *BANG* something great happens, and there would be the hope that this would be the year.  (Remember 1984?)  The Cubs bring people together.  Sure, it's great when the Yankees have yet another consecutive win, but it doesn't equal the feeling of a Cubs win.  Wearing a Cubs shirt almost always guarantees a stranger will smile and say, "This could be the year!"   How many times since 1908, has a father taken his son to the ballgame, and hoped that the season would end in victory?  Okay, so it hasn't yet, but how many teams can boast multi-generational bonding like that?  Being a Cubs fan brings families together.  It teaches us that even though you might not win, doesn't mean you shouldn't give it your all.   I'm not saying that I wouldn't be thrilled if the Cubbies actually won a World Series.  I would cheer just as wildly and be just as proud as the next fan. Until then I will look forward in anticipation to each new season.  So, at the end of the Cubbies 2003 season, I say thank you for another year of fun, excitement, cheers and, admittedly tears.  It will be a year my kids won't forget, sitting together, cheering every catch and high-fiving every run. Being a Cubs fan is never a disappointment.  It's a lesson in perseverance.  So to those who say they knew the Cubs would blow it, I say,"Just wait till next year!"

 

Hoop Dreams #2....

Last night was like a blast from the past.  My youngest daughter started basketball with the 2-3rd grade church league.  My oldest was in a similar basketball program from 4-7th grade back in Indiana.  We just loved those years.  My youngest and I would take her to practice once a week, and then on game day we would need our own section in the bleachers.  Besides me, hubby and sister, there were Grammy, Papa, Nana, Richard (Nana's significant other), Aunt Jody, Uncle Keith, and on occasion Aunt Gina and Uncle Chris.  It was a very happy and special time for our family.  Not only did we get to be a part of something my daughter loved, we were spending quality family time together.  We were all busy during the week, and might not see or hear from one another often.  But on those game days, our children knew that we thought it was important to be there for them.  When we moved to Florida, I wasn't sure if the school system would offer such a program.  They didn't....but luckily the church we decided to start attending did.  So now, my youngest daughter is playing.  She is so excited.  She wore her big sister's old uniform and carried her waterbottle with the basketball on the side.  She was hot and sweaty within 5 minutes of practice, but had a huge smile on her face.  My oldest daughter came with me and critiqued her sister's style from the bleachers.  After practice, we had a small meeting with the coach who asked for a volunteer assistant.  My oldest stepped up and introduced herself, and said she would be happy to help.  So, next Saturday, I will have both  of my daughters on the court together.  Things sure will be different.  Not only on the court, but in our family.  The aunts and uncles are back in Indiana.  Nana's older and her significant other didn't move with her.  My father is now ill, and in a wheelchair and has lost most of his eyesight.  But I guarantee this; the family will be at the game, cheering her on, and enjoying our family time together.  Some things never change.

She works hard for the money....(hey, what money?!)

Okay, confession time.  It is 11:28 am and I am still in my pajamas.  Yes, this is one of the perks of being a stay at home mom.  Now, don't get me wrong, I have not been lazily lying about, doing my nails and drinking mimosa's.  Here's a quick run-down of my accomplishments so far....the dog had 2 seizures during the night (he is epileptic) so at 6:00 am I gave him a bath (big job, he's a 90 lb. Golden Retriever); I have done 3 loads of laundry, gotten two kids off to school, went to my mom's and picked up the steam cleaner, came home and showered, put on my face, did my hair, put nightgown back on, vaccumed house, washed kitchen floor, and steam cleaned the bedroom, along with two throw rugs and an area rug....whew!  Oh yes, dinner is in the crock pot as well.  I am not tooting my own horn here, I'm just pointing out that even though stay at home moms might choose to wear pajamas for 50% of their day, it does not hinder us from doing 120% of the work!  ;o)

The Chosen One....

Can you believe it?  My journal was chosen to be featured in the Parenting community on the "Because I said so...." page.  How wonderful.  The sad part?  I didn't even know there was such a page.  Go figure!  But, I am excited.  I even printed out a copy of the notification e-mail.  I suppose thanks should go to my 15 year old, who introduced me to the wonderful world of journaling.  She has a Blurty, another blogging/journaling site, that is nowhere near as good as AOL's. (Honest, this is not a paid testimonial!) She spends hours there, spilling secrets about her life, school, general nonsense, and she loves it.  All of her friends are doing it too.  They all have links to each other's pages, leave comments, the whole bit.  My daughter probably has at least 30 entries.  So, as a mother of a skinny, beautiful teenager, I felt it my duty to rub it in.  First, I put the screen up and clapped wildly, and asked her to look at it.  She squinted from the chair and said, "What?"  So I said, "Come and see!"  She sighs heavily and comes over.  "WHAT MOTHER?"  I just keep smiling and laughing and point.  She reads it and says, "You mean, you have put in 6 entries since the 6th of October and get featured, and I have 30 entries since August and get nothing?"  I leaned back in my computer chair and put my feet up, hands behind head, "Yeah, (sniff), that's right. (satisfaction sigh)  I guess you will just have to admit it."  "Admit what?"  she asks.  "Your mom ROCKS!" I said, nodding confidently.  I didn't quite catch what she was muttering under her breath as she walked out of the room, but I imagine it was something like, "You sure do mom.  I'm gonna call all my friends with the good news!"  Hey, a mom can dream, can't she? 

Home Sweet Home....

Well, after 7 hours in the car, we are home.  What a looonnnggg drive. Have you ever noticed that the drive home is much longer than the drive there?  It doesn't matter where "there" is....it's just longer.  I have a problem with my back, (bulging disk), so I bought one of those car massager/heat things at Wal-Mart.  I can't tell you how many times that thing has saved my a$$....literally.  Of course, 3 hours into the trip my daughter says, "What smells like its burning?"  The motor on my massager/heater went out.  So, for the rest of the trip home, I was squirming in my seat, trying to find the most comfortable position.  My legs were crossed, on the dash, on hubby's lap...it didn't matter, nothing helped.  And now I'm out at $20 massager!  Go figure.  But, our trip was worth it.  Every time we go there, my husband gets so relaxed.  That is quite an accomplishment, since he is so stressed most of the time.  Of course, he leaves Thursday for "Biketoberfest" in Daytona Beach.  Must be nice, going on TWO vacations in TWO weeks!  I, of course, wouldn't know.  I never get to go on vacation by myself.  I don't do ANYTHING by myself.  Well, occasionally I do treat myself to an hour massage with Jean, my masseuse.  I have to admit, those are pretty good.  Hmmmm....you know, my electric massager is broken....

Mountain mama....take me home

Ahhhh, finally....fall weather!  We are here in beautiful North Carolina, enjoying the spectacular fall colors in the mountains.  Beats the heck out of flat, green Florida....yuck!  We moved from Indiana to Florida last year, and boy do I miss my autumn, winter and spring.  We are stuck in perpetual summer, humidity and bad hair days.  Don't get me wrong, I love the ocean, and I am getting used to the heat, but being here in NC is making me melancholy.  There is no way that you can look at these beautiful, majestic mountains and not believe there is a God.  We have spent most of the weekend eating....and I am getting sick of it!  (Never thought I would say that!)  The girls are having a great time with their aunt, and the hubby has done nothing but relax for 48+ hours....now there's a change!  We leave for home, tomorrow morning....boohoo!  BTW, GO CUBBIES....BEAT THOSE FREAKIN MARLINS!!!!  This is our year....I feel it in my soul!!!! 

Banging in the kitchen....

Yes, the hubby and I banged in the kitchen....we banged the old fridge into the new one, (not even 24 hours old), and put a lovely dent and scratch in the front!  Needless to say, a few curse words were said....not by me of course, lol, but by the hubby.  He says it was my fault for not looking out, (he was behind the fridge, pushing it on the dolly), but I was telling our youngest and her friend not to come through the door because we were coming out.  Now how is that my fault?  How was I to know that he was going to start pushing the stupid thing?  Well, anyway, I went and got my trusty "white-out" and dabbed it on the scratch.  What do you know....you can't even tell it was there!  I was so proud of myself!  Of course the hubby took one look at it and said, "You can't see the scratch but you can see the dent."  Well, thanks a lot for complimenting me on TRYING to make a bad situation better!  Jerk!  Then he put a magnet over it and called it good.  I took it off because you couldn't even tell it had been hit after I fixed it.  I tell you....

The big freeze....or "defrost" as it were....

Yesterday....what a day.  My house looked so lovely!  I cleaned and my kitchen sparkled...*bling-bling*.  And then it happened.  My freezer stopped working.  When I got home from the symphony, the freezer was making a strange kind of grating sound.  And there was a bit of water on the floor.  So, I summoned all the appliance repair knowledge in my brain....and hit the ice maker, HARD, a few times.  Can you believe that didn't work?  I was stunned....but it did quiet down a bit.  When hubby came home I showed him, and he found some ice in the fan and pulled it out.  It whirred again, silently.  We were elated!  I went on to serve my delicious dinner....ham, sweet potatoes and green bean casserol (a dry run for Thanksgiving).  After that, the wee one was bothering me for ice cream.  As I pulled the carton out I though....boy this is soft!  And then I stepped in the PUDDLE of water.  Once again the freezer stopped freezing....and the fridge stopped, uh, fridg-ing.  So, hubby and I went to Lowe's and came home with my brand spankin new, 25 cubic foot, Whirlpool side-by-side refridgerator.  It is LOVELY!  So clean and beautiful.  The fridge we had was okay, but it came with the house and the lady apparently wasn't as obsessive as I am with cleaning, (ewww).  So, although I spent $800 that I didn't have, (thank God for plastic), I do have a new fridge.  I didn't want to pay $200 toward a repair on an old one, you know?  I mean, don't I deserve a new one????  I am the one who uses it to hold the food that I prepare to sustain my family.  And anyway, we are going on a long weekend, and I don't want to come home to melted meat and clumpy milk. By the way, I helped hubby load and unload and navigate into the kitchen this new, hulking fridge.  No delivery man needed here!  Of course, I am sitting here with an ice pack on my back....kept frozen by my new fridge!

Ahhhh, the symphony....

Today was a lovely day.  I went with my 3rd grader's class to hear the symphony.  Have you ever really listened to classical music?  To the strains of Mozart or Vivaldi?  Utterly moving.  I don't cry often....except for some odd reason, at parades or when little children sing.  But today, when that music began, I couldn't help it.  By the time the concert was over, my so-called "waterproof" mascera was all over my face!  My daughter was so impressed.  She was smiling, and had a hundred questions about music and symphonies and composers.  Wonderful!

I had never been to this particular theatre before and as we came out of the building, the sun was just peeking out from behind a cloud, and the water from the river was sparkling like diamonds.  It was truly a beautiful end to a beautiful trip. 

 

Another of life's firsts....my first post!

Ahhhh, my first blog/diary/journal entry.  Well, let's see.  I've been a stay at home mom for 15 years now and I am loving the job.  The hours are great, you wouldn't  believe how little I spend on work clothes, and even though I sleep with the boss.....no one cares! ;o) I have been very lucky in that my husband and I agreed that we wanted to raise our kids, not a stranger at day care.  I am happily able to say that I saw my daughters first steps, sat with her all night during one of her many bouts with the flu, cleaned dried play-doh off the carpet after an afternoon of play....so many things that I look back on and am thankful that I was able to be home and be a part of.   I was a very young mother, and learned so many things raising my kids.  Things that no career could ever teach me.  I know that some might say that I missed out on my 20's....having a career, living on my own, making decisions.  But I don't feel that way.  Maybe you can tell me which stock to invest in on the market, but I can tell you which supermarket will yield your best money to food ratio.  Perhaps I don't know the entire score to the latest Broadway hit, but I do know the score of my daughters latest basketball game....because I was there.  Stay at home mothers of the world unite!  Let us no longer be looked down upon as the lazy women who stay home and watch tv all day.  Let us be known as the women who rear the next President, or scientist that finds the cure to a horrible disease.  Lets be proud of who we are.   When someone asks "What do you do?"  SMILE, throw your shoulders back and say, "I stay at home and raise my children!"